Life is odd sometimes, just when you seem to think you're moving forward you're blind sided on some idle Wednesday afternoon. This is what happened to me and the days that followed only served to get worse by the moment.

1) I recieved a letter from the Army that I may be involuntarily separated due to Army physical fitness failure, I had an opportunity to pass again and I failed. Was it due to stress? A resignation to my fate? Or was I simply not prepared for it?

2) I came into Houston that following weekend, tired, a little stressed from the letter and lack of sleep. I came in and the first thing my father tells me when I walk through the door was that my Grandfather had died and no one knew when or how. Also my Grandmother who has alzheimers is missing. No one knows where she is or even if she's okay. And apparrantly there are strangers living in my Grandparents house. the thing is that my Grandfather passed away in October of 2004 and nobody knew, no one talked about it, no one mentioned it and I daresay that he didn't get the funeral that he deserved. I don't know what to do, how to feel. I can't seem to cry and I feel so detached from it all.

3) I came back from Houston reluctantly with these weights upon my shoulders, with doubts in my mind and questions always questions, I figured if I threw myself into work that I could forget, but I cannot, will not forget and I think about it all the time, especially late at night when I can't sleep and the thoughts of the world weigh upon my mind.

4) I went in to work on Tuesday of the following week only to find out that someone had called in to the center and complained about me and some other people they had played against on xbox live, I work as a Tech Support agent for xbox live and so do many of my friends on live and some of them like to throw their weight around and threaten to voice ban or ban players for cheating or other offenses on the xbox live system, which we have rights to do. So since someone complained and used my gamertag or username on xbox live they tied me and other gamers/tech support agents to the account, but couldn't tell which of us did what. So they gave us all "Final Warnings" and told us that we could have lost our jobs for what had occurred.

5) there are other things going on in my life, I'll be 28 in June, can you believe that? There are so many things I want to do with my life and yet I feel like I'm not doing any of them and it's all just passing me by. It's frustrating and I know I sound like a broken record on here, but it's the truth.

6) I'm still single and yes there are women in my life that I would love to pursue a relationship with it just seems that at times things don't work out, or I'm too far removed from being able to connect with someone. Why is this? I have the capacity to love, to cherish a woman in my arms, to talk with her at length about life liberty and the pursuit of happiness or whatever. Why can't I be happy, why can't someone love me as easily as I love them?

7) I want to be in school again, I have the will, the intelligence, but it seems like my GI BILL paperwork from the Army is always messed up and I don't have the greatest love for paperwork in the first place. I just need to grab the bull by the horns and get into work.

I know I talk a lot of fluff at times and I have all these wishes, hopes and dreams for my life and hopefully for sharing that life with someone who cares about me as much as I care about her. I'm just overwhelmed a lot, it seems like I'm drowning, yet every now and then I can find a calm spot in the storm and rest for a bit and then the next big wave hits you and you go under again. I need to get some sleep, I have a long day tomorrow. Thanks for listening, Goodnight all

Here's how to commit seppuku (with a frisbee) according to www.realultimatepower.net

Seppuku is the ancient art of killing yourself if you get super pissed and can’t find anybody else to kill. Ninjas use all sorts of crap to kill themselves—guns, ropes, knives, lasers, spears, etc.—and don’t even think twice about it. These guys would kill themselves for just about any reason and often for no reason at all: that’s why we there are so few ninjas today.

But if you want to commit Seppuku and you’re like me, you don’t have access to stuff like lasers. But there’s hope. I tried to kill myself by swallowing a frisbee a couple of times—and believe me, it’s pretty cool. The only catch is you have to be really super pissed to do it.

Step 1 Get a frisbee from the store or friend.

Step 2 Clean the Frisbee.

Step 3 Make sure your parents aren’t around

Step 4 Put something slippery on it, like butter or cream.

Step 5 Get really super pissed.

Step 6 Fold the Frisbee hard (this is crucial)

Step 7 Keep folded and insert Frisbee into mouth hard.

Step 8 Push hard until you can’t see it.

Step 9 Wait.

Step 10 Die.

If you succeed, everybody will be like “Holy Crap!”

"Separation Proceedings under AR 135-178, Chapter 9" due to APFT failure.

So I recieved this package in the mail and basically it says I have to respond 30 days from today with some sort of response.

If you don't know the APFT is the Army Physical Fitness Test

I don't know I don't remember the tests they're quoting, some are months to over a year apart. I was counseled a few times, but not all the times and I don't ever remember recieving a copy of it. I have records of things here at home, but a lot of stuff was lost or displaced during the moves.

I've been told I could contact the JAG office, but I don't know how much the jag office can or would be willing to help me with anything regarding this, especially if I fail this Saturday. I don't know what to do, it's caught me off guard as well, I haven't seen or even spoken to the commandant or anyone about this in months and then from out of nowhere I recieved this package in the mail.

I work hard, I'm a good soldier, I have sacrificed a lot for the Army and the 75th. I've been coming to drill for free for over a year, I've been unemployed and unable to eat or make my rent, but I drive over 200 miles to come to a unit to be yelled and abused for two days, I'm so tired after drills on Sundays that I can't drive back to Austin and have to miss a day of work after finally getting a job. I've withdrawn from college courses just so I could go on missions for this unit. I've lost girlfriends, women I love because of my commitment to the idea of duty, honor and country and selfless service to others without considering myself.

Honestly, I've been tired and frustrated about the unit, about working hard and seeing nothing as a result. Yes I know what they're talking about. I haven't passed my APFT and I was on the weight control program. I've lost the weight, hell I've lost more than enough weight and I keep losing weight, does this mean that now I'm eligable to be kicked out?

I also have trouble with my situps, I work out, but I guess it's not enough. I can do them here at home just fine, but when I get out there to do them on the field, it's like I have this mental block or something. I don't know if I'll pass this weekend and even if I do it looks like it doesn't matter anyway since the way this paperwork is worded I'm already gone.

I don't know, I just don't know anymore... I'm tired, I'm just tired of it all...

"Separation Proceedings under AR 135-178, Chapter 9" due to APFT failure.

So I recieved this package in the mail and basically it says I have to respond 30 days from today with some sort of response.

If you don't know the APFT is the Army Physical Fitness Test

I don't know I don't remember the tests they're quoting, some are months to over a year apart. I was counseled a few times, but not all the times and I don't ever remember recieving a copy of it. I have records of things here at home, but a lot of stuff was lost or displaced during the moves.

I've been told I could contact the JAG office, but I don't know how much the jag office can or would be willing to help me with anything regarding this, especially if I fail this Saturday. I don't know what to do, it's caught me off guard as well, I haven't seen or even spoken to the commandant or anyone about this in months and then from out of nowhere I recieved this package in the mail.

I work hard, I'm a good soldier, I have sacrificed a lot for the Army and the 75th. I've been coming to drill for free for over a year, I've been unemployed and unable to eat or make my rent, but I drive over 200 miles to come to a unit to be yelled and abused for two days, I'm so tired after drills on Sundays that I can't drive back to Austin and have to miss a day of work after finally getting a job. I've withdrawn from college courses just so I could go on missions for this unit. I've lost girlfriends, women I love because of my commitment to the idea of duty, honor and country and selfless service to others without considering myself.

Honestly, I've been tired and frustrated about the unit, about working hard and seeing nothing as a result. Yes I know what they're talking about. I haven't passed my APFT and I was on the weight control program. I've lost the weight, hell I've lost more than enough weight and I keep losing weight, does this mean that now I'm eligable to be kicked out?

I also have trouble with my situps, I work out, but I guess it's not enough. I can do them here at home just fine, but when I get out there to do them on the field, it's like I have this mental block or something. I don't know if I'll pass this weekend and even if I do it looks like it doesn't matter anyway since the way this paperwork is worded I'm already gone.

I don't know, I just don't know anymore... I'm tired, I'm just tired of it all...

My week is turning into a repetitive moment of waking up at about 12ish getting ready for work/notdoing anything till about 3ish then going to work till midnight or just a bit later, coming home and staring at the wall or tv it doesn't really make much difference, then eventually turning everything off and trying to sleep, then starting the whole process all over again. I need to work on managing my time a bit better I guess.

What are you doing Saturday? I had plans, but they were canceled and no you're not an afterthought these were work related plans. I'll be off of work from around midnightish Friday night and won't have to go back till about 3ish on Sunday. So there's plenty of time to get into trouble.

bleagh, I'm tired, I need to get ready for work, what's new with you?

I finally found a gig, it's still temp to perm and I'm working my best to get hired on. I'm working at Harte-Hanks, its a call center for xboxlive technical support. not the kind of work I thought I'd be doing or even interested in, but I enjoy helping people and perhaps this will lead me into something better, though I am going to continue with school.

apparantly I don't have access to any instant messenger program right now. I'm on my Dad's pc, god this thing is so full of crap, there are toolbars for the toolbars and you wouldn't believe the clutter on the desktop. aww but I love my dad, he's a hardware guy, I'm a network guy, somewhere we need to find us a software guy, but oh wait that's my buddy Zach, he's like a brother and knows the most random off the wall things, For example he can speak in binary, SPEAK IT!! and be understood if someone copies it down and enters it into this translator program, crazy huh? Anyway I'm at my parents hacienda here in lovely Tomball, Texas, which is just north of Houston and I'll be getting up in a few hours to beat my brains to the sounds of a military march. mmm.. mmm... good. Hope everything is going well for you and yours. I'll be posting more later, maybe. ha!

I may have to find a new place to live, Know anyone who might need a roommate in a few months? My roommates are pissing me off. They're supposed to be friends, but lately anything but is what I've been getting.

Chris is being a jerk and wants an ultimatum about whether or not I want to stay in the house and if I stay then he leaves and goes to move in with his friend dustin, either way he's getting a place with him, though he wants the house.

I don't know what's going on with Nicki and Darren, I don't really communicate with them, but I think darren doesn't want to live with roommates and I don't know if nicki's going with him or not.

Regardless, things between nicki and I are strained, she seems to ignore me when I don't have money and when she needs something or a ride somewhere she's always around, but if I need something then I'm on my own.

So either way if I want to stay in Austin, I'll need a place to live and possibly roommates, more than likely multiple roommates, I'd like to keep the house, but who knows the rent is at 1150 month and the owner is expected to go up to 1400 a month at the end of our lease. Now this is only hearsay information I've gotten from nicki and this could all be some sort of elaborate ploy to get me to move out of the house so that they can all party, drink and play electronic music together.. this is just me at my conspiracy theory level.

So I'm here in Austin with choices, stay in the house and austin & find roommates / move out and stay in austin but find another place to live with roommates / or move back to my parents in houston and go from there.

Okay so I've got some things going on, I guess I'll get to work on them, but if you know of anyone looking my lease is up in July.

hope everything is going well for you and all that.

- Hugh

Hey everyone what's up? Haven't heard from you in awhile. I got a job! it's only temporary but it's a lot of fun so far, I'm working for Harte-Hanks, They do the Customer service and Tech support for Microsoft. Currently I'm on a side project for the Xbox and it's going well, If I continue to do well I'll be able to move on to the Xbox Live account, it's not a fancy job or really difficult to do, but it's work and I'm working nights from about 3:30 p.m. to 12 midnight with Thurs and Saturday off. I'm also looking at going back to the City and working at the pools as well, that way I can have two incomes coming in. I've applied for some jobs that might bring me back to Houston, but I don't want to jinx them by talking about them too much.

I'm working on getting back into school soon, perhaps for the summer, at the earliest, but I'm not sure whats going to happen with my Army unit, whether they're going to activate me or not when I pass my next physical fitness test which is coming up on the 12-13th of March I think, I should be in Houston that weekend. I know I've got a mission coming up thats going to send me to Nebraska, though I'm not sure I want to go to Nebraska during this time of year, I know it's about 65 degrees here and up there its going to be a lot colder and we both know that I don't deal well with cold weather. So if I get activated then I'll have a job and I won't have to worry about much of anything.

I'm still kicking ass at Halo2 on xbox live, though I'm getting tired of all the cheaters/standby users. I don't know why kids just can't play an honest game. Though Bungie, the game developer, is working on the problem. Who knows when that will be resolved. Though I still enjoy playing the game. I think a lot of people are getting away from playing Halo2 on live because of cheaters and while that may be good for me and my chances to gain levels and move up the leader boards, It's still a sad occurrence.

I'm still single, though I have interests, but I'm unwilling to pursue them while I'm still on the verge of being unemployed and uneducated. I'm just taking it easy and letting life flow as it should. I'm trying not to stress about anything. least of all not having someone in my life that I can come home to or hold or even talk to, but blah I'm not going to get into that.

So that's it for now, let me know what's going on with you.

Author Hunter S. Thompson kills self

http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/NewsStory.aspx?section=CELEBRITY&oid=68900">
DENVER - Hunter S. Thompson, who pioneered "gonzo" journalism and became a counterculture celebrity with works such as "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas," fatally shot himself at his Colorado home on Sunday night, police said. He was 67. Thompson was found dead at his home outside the ski resort of Aspen, police said.
"We do have confirmation that Hunter Thompson was found dead this evening of an apparent self-inflicted wound," said Tricia Louthis, spokeswoman for the Pitkin County Sheriff's Thompson made his drug and alcohol-fueled antics and clashes with authority the central theme of his work, challenging the conventions of traditional journalism and creating a larger-than-life outlaw persona for himself along the way.
He dubbed his style of writing, which threw out any attempt at objectivity, "gonzo" journalism. His 1971 book "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas," adapted from an article written for Rolling Stone magazine, chronicled Thompson's drug-hazed misadventures in Las Vegas while covering a motorcycle race. The book established Hunter as a cult celebrity and became the basis for a 1998 Hollywood adaptation, starring Johnny Depp as Thompson's alter-ego, Raoul Duke.

Complete sincerity: You believe in being
straightforward with others, and you expect the
same from them. People would consider you a
good listener, and one who is calm and mostly
serious.

Which Characteristic From the Samurai Code Matches You Best? (You may find out your best trait)
brought to you by Quizilla

I may have a job soon, I'll keep you posted. hope everything is going well with you. Have a great one!

- Hugh
Currently this is my gamertag:
ZeroskillZ

I've been out of work since October, my funds are extremely limited. I was working a seasonal job and then a temporary job, they both ended and Austins a small town, hard to find work in the winter, then my cel phone was shut off, my truck broke down and I've had to scrounge money to drive to Houston for Duty with my Army Reserve unit, It's all I've been able to do to just make my rent and buy a little food. I've got some money now and I was going to use that to build on for rent for next month, but I have to go to Houston in a week for another duty weekend with the Army Reserves, now you might think this is great and wonderful and that I'll get paid, but you're wrong. You see while I was Deployed for Operation Iraqi Freedom Uncle Sam overpaid me by the sum of $3,000 plus and being the redundant gov't entity that he is, he wouldn't take it back when I had it to offer, now after it is spent they are deducting 75% of my paycheck to pay it back, what does this mean? It means that for a very long time I will be going to Drill for free since it costs me almost $100 in gas to get there and back and I only make about $75 a drill. So technically I pay to serve my country, I'm such an awesome citizen aren't I?

Currently, I have about $200 cash in my pocket, let's say $100 of that is already spent to get me to Houston next weekend. I now have $100 to put towards rent. I have to pay my utility bill soon and that's going take about $39 from me for my portion, even though I know I use far less than any of the other people in this house. I'll have $61 left towards rent. So I go from there.

I don't go out to eat or party anymore, XboxLive was my only form of entertainment, but my account/gamertag was cancelled for non-payment and so now I'm reading more which is awesome, I always love a good read. Unfortunately I'm also not in school right now, but I will be soon.

I have a job starting in March, but that doesn't help me now. I can go back to the city, work again at Barton Springs, I loved it there. I've applied all over town, The Alamo Drafthouse is hiring for their new location, Also the people who do the call center for xbox live here in Austin are also hiring and I can do that job as well. I'm just waiting to hear back from them, hopefully I'll get the job and soon.

In the meantime I'm looking at pawning a bunch of my stuff and selling off all my cd's and possibly my books to half-price,so that I can at least get close to rent for next month.I've got friends that owe me money, hopefully they'll be able to pay me back soon. I've got plenty of stuff, I could probably be able to get rid of it and not be bothered, I spent three days ripping all my cd's to my laptop, I've got 13 gigs of music and I'll be able to burn them to cd anytime now I've got nothing to lose there.

I also have several types of electronics and a paintball gun, that will hopefully help me get closer to my goal. I've never pawned stuff before and am not sure of how it works or what I might get for it.

My books? I have a ton of books that I know I can get rid of and not worry about, I'm just used to having a lot of books. I've grown up reading these stories and several are hard to find, I'm not going to read them again I don't think. I don't know if I'm going to miss them. books to me are a treasure really. I never could understand why many people aren't interested in them. They must be used to the mind numbing process of tv I guess. I have some early 50's fiction some older, tech manuals, law books, graphic novels and from there mostly sci-fi/fantasy books I have been getting a core of fiction lately, I use if for escapism, it's nice to get away from reality once or twice.

So this is the basic truth of the moment, fascinating I know. What else you might ask? Well I'm still single if you're interested. Is there someone in my life I'm interested in? Why are you asking? Are you interested in knowing? The answer? Yes, there is someone in my life who I am interested in. This time of year or any time of year is hard to be single. Do I lament the fact? well that fact is going to remain a mystery until a later date. I need to get some sleep. Goodnight all.

Lately I've been getting these surveys/questionaires in my inbox and I thought I'd fill a few out just to help you get a better idea of who I am. I know they tend to kick my other posts down, but that's just something you're going to have to deal with.

1-WHERE DO YOU LIVE? Austin, Texas
2-SEX OR ICE-CREAM? Sex... then ice-cream...
3-WHAT COLOR UNDERWEAR ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?blue & white plaid light cotton blend boxers
4-WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT NOW? ripping cd's to my laptop, answering this survey and watching stand up comedy on HBO for free.
5-WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU WENT OUT TO EAT WITH?myself?
6-IF U WERE A TOY, WHAT WOULD YOU BE? an Action Figure! old school GI-Joe with the Kung-Fu grip
7-WHERE WOULD YOU WANT TO GO ON YOUR HONEYMOON?Europe, possibly Germany or the UK
8-WHATS YOUR RING TONE? phone's off right now, but if you're important enough then you get your own ringtone.
9-WHAT DO YOU THINK A TOBLERONE IS?Toblerone, the legendary triangular Swiss chocolate with honey and almond nougat. I cheated I used google.
10-WHAT R U WEARING RIGHT NOW? Jeans and a t-shirt
11-DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? glasses are more my style
12-WHAT WAS THE BEST ADVICE EVER GIVEN TO YOU?If you never ask the question, the answer's automatically No
*note: I have no idea where these questions went.
20-DO YOU SLEEP NAKED? not all the time.. but i've been known to take off clothes in my sleep...
21-Christmas or Easter? I'll take Christmas over most any other commercialized holiday and there's just something weird about bunny eggs.
22-LUST OR LOVE? Love
23-KISSES OR HUGS? Yes please, lots.
24-WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD? Feeling betrayed
25-WORST SOUND? tires screaching, I have nightmares sometimes, there are others.
26-WHATS THE FIRST THING YOU DO WHEN YOU WAKE UP? wipe the drool off my arm or hit the alarm button.
27-ROLLER COASTER, SCARY OR EXCITING? Yes please.
28-HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU LET THE PHONE RING BEFORE YOU ANSWER IT? depends on how fast i get to the phone
29-ZODIAC SIGN? Cancer, kind of appropriate don't you think?
30-IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL? Half full till I finish drinking it.
31-MOST IMPORTANT PHYSICAL FEATURE: the eyes
32-MILK WHITE OR CHOCOLATE? chocolate milk rules
33-DAY OR NIGHT? Day
34-SUMMER OR WINTER? Spring through Fall
35-CAKE OR PIE? pie, warm apple pie
36-DIAMONDS OR PEARLS? I don't wear jewels
37-SUNRISE OR SUNSET? sunset
38-HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN A BONE? tons
39-DO YOU HATE ANYONE? 'hate' is a lil too extreme for me, I don't even really dislike anyone, but I am annoyed at a few people
40-DO YOU BELIEVE IN FIGHTING? According to my old friend Pat Morita aka Mr. Miagi, " Fighting is not good, someone always gets hurt" then he proceeds to kick some ass.
41-WHO DO YOU TURN TO FOR ADVICE? there's not many I talk to.
42- IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SKILL IN LIFE WHAT WOULD IT BE?I'm not sure, better communication skills? athletic ability? who knows
43-WHERE ARE YOUR FAVORITE PLACES TO SHOP? not many lately, it all depends on what I'm shopping for.
44-WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WEBSITE? I'm at myspace a lot, but I'm not sure if it's my favorite.
45-WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? A knight, shining armor, lance and big horse.

I've spent the past two days rebuilding my laptop. I know pretty amazing stuff, I don't know if I'm doing this out of shere boredom or the actual need for a real computer to do my work on. I somehow contracted a virus or something awhile back that wiped my .sys files. I tried my best to recover my system almost any way I could, but alas there was no other way than to reformat my harddrive thus also losing everything in the hard drive, most of my writing, my photos, my meager works, my writing I think is what I'll miss the most. I'll be able to re-scan all my photos if I can find them, but the writing, if I didn't have a printed copy or another copy online somewhere then they are lost forever. I don't think I want to think about all the words I've lost, the emotions poured forth onto the screen. There is so much that I've written that I'll never be able to recover. So now I try to rebuild, I'm looking through my burned cd's, old floppy disks and even online in places I haven't looked at in a long time. hopefully I'll be able to recover most of it. hopefully.

50 facts!
1. Your name spelled backwards: hguH
2. Where were your parents born: Father in Kansas, Mother in Texas
3. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer: The latest version of AOL IM
4. What's your favorite restaurant: Magnolia's. mmmm Mag mud.
5. Last time you swam in a pool: Last summer I worked at Barton Springs in Austin, Texas.
6. Have you ever been in a school play: Yes, I think I was back in Elementary school, not sure though.
7. How many kids do you want: 2, maybe 3. it depends on my partner as well.
8. Type of music you dislike most: Rap, I just don't get all the killin, thrillin bling bling loudness of it.
9. Are you registered to vote: Totally
10. Have you ever embarrased yourself in public: Yes, all the time.
11. Have you ever ridden on a moped: Yes and I want one, or a Vespa Vintage of course
12. Ever prank call anybody: All the time.
13. Ever get a parking ticket: several. all over the country, I think I'm still wanted in most places.
14. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving: I've been skydiving and it was great, So Yes.
15. Furthest place you ever traveled: For real or in my imagination? haha
16. Do you have a garden: No, I just don't have the time to give.
17. What is the size of your bed: Full size and I'm still not used to it. I sleep on the right side and don't move at all.
18. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem: No, I don't think so, but I can mutter my way through it.
19. Bath or shower, morning or night: Showers, mainly in the morning, but I've been known to get a little wet at night too.
20. Best movie you have seen in the past 4 months: Shaun of the Dead or GardenState, both are beautiful.
21. What's the next movie that you want to see: I'm not sure I haven't been keeping up.
22. Chips or popcorn: Chips and queso, mmm.. mag mud to go
23. Have you ever broken any hearts: Yes, and I still hurt from it
24. Premarital sex: yes please.
25. Are you a good cook: I can make almost anything with pasta and have the ability to follow a recipe correctly.
26. Orange or Apple Juice: One glass of each please.
27. Who was the last person you went out to dinner with and where did you dine: Out?! To dinner? I honestly don't remember.
28. Favorite type of drink: If you're buyin', I'm drinkin'
29. Best thing in the world: When I have someone I truly care about wrapped in my arms.
30. Have you ever broken a bone: Yes. Right Tibia & Fibula, Left Radius/Ulna/Humerus, clavicle, ribs, Tarsals, Carpals, skull.
31. Have you ever won a trophy: Bowling, Racing cars, Drafting Aerospace designs in High School, Boy Scouts, The Army
32. What is your favorite board game: RISK or chess.
33. What is your dream car: A small to mid sized four door truck/SUV with room for my friends and crap
34. Ever order an article from an infomercial: yes. don't tell my mom.
35. Coke or Pepsi: Dr. Pepper
36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work: All the time it seems
37. Last thing you bought at a pharmacy: I got milk at Walgreens! $1.99!!!
38. Who are you going to marry: I have ideas and ambitions, but I'm not sure if they'll happen ever. Hopefully someone who makes me as happy as I make them.
39. Who would you like to meet: Everyone.
40. Do you believe in love at first sight: Perhaps for others, not for me. Though I do happen to believe in lust at first sight.
41. What features do you find most attractive in the opposite sex: Charm, wit, intelligence and the ability to hold a decent conversation.
42. Where would you go for a romantic evening: I have many places.
43. How many pairs of shoes do you own: something like 10 I think, not sure if I should include my boots.
44. Last song stuck it your head: The Darkness, I believe in a thing called love
45. Any pets: Not at this time.
46. Whats your all time favorite Saturday Night Live character: Haven't watched that in forever.
47. Whats one thing you would like to learn: How to write fast and well.
48. What do you do when you are bored: read, make an ass out of myself, things like this.
49. What is one thing you would want someone to appreciate about you: my ability to trust my friends and to forgive them for their transgressions.
50. What is one thing you are grateful for today? friends

It's Wednesday night and I can't sleep. It might be because I have the T.V. on, but it might be because I have some things on my mind. I need a job, money and someone to share it all with. You know what, if I had someone in my life I wouldn't need to worry about money or a job. But I don't see any resolution to that little problem anytime soon.

Okay on to new stuff, I'm into my second week working back at the Co-op and I've been having a great time, I really enjoy working there and I'm almost upset that this job is temporary. I love interacting with people. Too bad, that more than likely my job will be over by this Saturday. The job is temporary and I only find out if I continue on to the next week every Thursday afternoon when the Human Resources gets a schedule request. Saturday is my last day so I'll be looking for something else very soon.

Sigh. being unemployed is starting to affect a lot of aspects of my life and it's rough. seriously rough. Though on the plus side I have lost 12 pounds and am looking a bit slimmer and trimmer. haha. And before you ask, Yes I have been looking for another job, but it doesn't look promising with all you crazy college students back in town the expectant workforce has increased exponentially. I shall persevere and overcome. I have faith in that at least. haha.

My parents keep asking me to come home and stay with them, try my hand at some sort of job search in Houston, I genuinely think they want to help me, but I also think they just want me home. The thing is I'm not sure what I'd do there. Where would I work? I don't have the money now to get around Austin, How would I be able to drive to Houston and then around town looking for work. I can't depend on my parents for everything. I need to stand on my own.

I didn't pass my physical fitness test this past weekend for the Army, so I won't be able to come back to Active duty unless there is a need. They have spoken with me about other options, but until I see actual paperwork I'm not going to hold my breath.

What next? I'm going to try to lay down and get some sleep. hopefully I'll be able to shut my eyes and everything will be alright for a few hours. hopefully. goodnight all.

I know I barely write in here anymore and when I do it's few and far between. Don't think it's for not wanting to write or being unable to on the contrary I've been writing it's just been elsewhere. I don't know how to put my thoughts into words anymore and I don't know whom I'm sharing this with. Are you out there? Are you reading this? Do you still think of me as I think of you? I have so many unanswered questions.

I have this feeling inside of always being adrift. I have goals don't get me wrong and I know how to reach them, but I seem to be moving through molasses and fog, One step at a time and it seems there's always a stumble, something hidden that I can't comprehend. I want to live my life! I want to experience happiness again.

The University of Texas denied me again as I knew they would. I didn't tell anyone I was applying again, I didn't think I should or that those who would listen would even care. I can't seem to move forward.

There's been talk of going back to Active Duty for the Army, or of being recalled. but again there's a stumbling block. I found out that I need to pass my Physical Fitness test before being able to be called back to active duty. I have PFT this weekend, but I don't know how I'm going to do. I'm nervous and afraid that I'll fail it again. It's not the physical part that I have a problem with, it's the weight. According to the Army I need to weigh 190lbs and I'm at 210lbs. The Army tapes me to check my body fat percentage, but due to the fact that I have a skinny neck, well that messes up my count. So I'm screwed unless I can lose a significant amount of weight. Being unemployed right now seems to help.

Speaking of employment, I'm still working the temp job and will be paid Friday for the training I did last week, If I have to I'll buy a bus ticket Friday afternoon and come down. I'll see if I can stay with someone or at the unit. I'm not sure. I can always use help with money. It doesn't look like I'll be able to stay on with the temp job unfortunately. I'm having a great time with it though and I really enjoy the people I'm working with. Who knows though what tomorrow may bring?

The Army has me scheduled to come in this weekend, but I work through Friday and as for being able to come down Friday, you know I've said the truck is having problems and I haven't been driving it because of both money problems and the cold. If it's cold out I can't get the engine to turn over and I haven't tried driving it in awhile. So I may be coming in on greyhound and staying with someone from my unit and not my family.
How is everyone at home I often wonder? I miss my family and friends and I think of them often. Please keep me updated on everything, I'd really appreciate it. I miss you all very much. I love you all and hope to be able to see you sometime this weekend. I miss you!! I hope everythings going well for y'all. with love,Hugh

Hello all,
I know you haven't heard from me in awhile and I appreciate your emails. Since you have asked, yes I'm still out of work, though I am starting a temporary job tomorrow which isn't going to last long, but it will be something.
As for other things, well since I don't have the money, I really don't go anywhere or do anything, I don't know the status of my checking account since my phone is off and I hesitate to even consider checking it out.

The weather here has been cold and the few times I've gone out to start the truck it would start for a few minutes and then die, I haven't tried to start it since. Yes I checked for the cable in the center front and it's attached. I don't know what's wrong with it. Hopefully I will be able to make it to Houston for my drill later this month.

I'm trying to figure out how to make money without doing anything, but that's not really working. I've responded to want ads and job postings all over the city and haven't had any real luck. I did interview with Wells Fargo and it looked like I had a job with them as a Teller, but then my phone was turned off and the truck wouldn't start so I can more than likely kiss that opportunity goodbye.

I've been walking around Austin a lot when I do go out, it's been too cold for me to ride my bike. I'm trying to keep warm and not get sick cause then I really won't be able to get a job.

I've had some trouble with my roommates, they seem to be upset about me not having a job, Yet I still pay my portion of the bills. They avoid me or they come home drunk and yell at me, but that's only two of them and they owe me money. A lot of the issues revolve around money, miscommunication, and relationship problems between the two who are living together. It's rough when you're living with someone you're not getting along with, because you see them almost everyday and you can't help but rehash the same old arguments. I don't know what's going to happen come the end of our lease, but I do know that I probably won't be living with these same people when the lease comes up, but who knows, things may change.

As for the Army, I don't know what's going to happen, I haven't heard anything and I haven't really communicated with them since my phone has been off, but we'll have to see. I think I'll email my unit after this and go from there.

I guess that's it for now, if you have any questions or want to know more you can email me back here, message me on aol instant messenger, or if you need to get ahold of me by phone and it's after 9 and my roommate nicki lets me use her phone. her number is 512-351-5390. I think my roommate Chris will also let me recieve calls on his phone, but I haven't asked him and it's a california number so I don't know if I should put that here or not and so I won't.

I love you all,
-Hugh
http://profiles.myspace.com/users/657169
http://keelhauler.blogspot.com/
AIM: HughHudson3
Yahoo: Whotookmyshorts

Happy Holidays Everyone!

Hugh H. Melrose III 403 Franklin Austin, Texas 78751
512 - 947 – 2848 hmelrose@gmail.com

Employment History
Feb, 2003 to Oct, 2004 City of Austin, Parks and Recreation Dept, Aquatics Divison
Sales, Customer Service

Aug, 2003 to Aug, 2004 ElRio Apartments, 2405 Rio Grande, Austin, Texas 78705
Manager

Aug, 2002 to Dec, 2002 H.E.Butts Corporation, Austin # 346, Far West Austin, Texas
Cashier, Bagger,Carryout

Jan, 1996 to Present U.S. Army 75th Division 1st Brigade Battlefield Projections Group, Battle Command Staff Training and Support, Houston, Texas 77054
Current Rank/Pay Grade: Seargent / E-5, Oct 2002
Security Level: Secret
Signal Systems Operations - Specialized training, Cable/Wire Systems, Unit Administration, Radio, Communications Security & Training

Jan, 1999 to Dec, 2001 ExxonMobil Exploration Corporation, Upstream Technical Computing 222 Benmar Houston, Texas 77060
Technical Assistant - Information Management Systems

Aug, 1998 to Dec, 1998 StaffMark, Formerly International Team Consultants
Contractor assigned to Exxon Exploration Corporation in Geo-Science Data Resource Management

Feb, 1998 to Jun,1998 SSL Enterprises, Mail Boxes Etc. #346, Spring,Texas shipping, receiving, customer service, sales clerk, inventory

Education History
2003 – present Austin Community College – Rio Grande Campus

1998 - 2003 North Harris Montgomery Community College System, Houston, Texas
Business and Engineering major, Graphics design and Business courses

1997 - 1997 Sam Houston State University, Huntsville, Texas
Business and Engineering major, ROTC advanced standing

1996 - 1997 United States Army, Fort Gordon Georgia
31 Lima School - Cable and Wire systems installation and maintenance
35 Echo School - Radio and Communications Security, operations and maintenance

1996 United States Army, Fort Leonardwood, Missouri
U.S. Army Basic Training

1992 - 1996 Klein Oak High School, Spring, Texas. graduated May,1996 with special study in Drafting / Architectural Computer aided design, Athletics, Sports Medicine and Marine Biology courses
1995 Second Place Regional Winner in Aerospace Design (AutoCAD)

Computer Applications Experience

Microsoft Office XP/2000, Word, Excel, Powerpoint, Access, XP, NT, Win98, Win95,Office 97 AutoCADD R12, R13, R14, R2000, 3D Studio, 3D Max, 3D Viz, Corel Draw,Adobe Photo Shop 6.0/7.0, Netscape Navigator, Internet Explorer, Webpage design

*DD - 214 On file with Harris County Clerk - verifies military training and honorable discharge from Active Army status to Active Army Reserve status.

Hugh H. Melrose III 403 Franklin Austin, Texas 78751
512 - 947 – 2848 hmelrose@gmail.com

Organizations

Boy Scouts of America, Sam Houston Area Council, Houston, Texas
Nov. 1995 Assistant Scout Master, Troop 87, Polaris District
Oct. 1995 Achieved Eagle Scout Rank, Polaris District
Sep. 1993 Explorer Scouts of America, Post 555, Polaris District
Jul. 1993 Order of the Arrow, honor camper youth group of Boy Scouts of America
Brotherhood member

Team Army - USAC - A Road, Mountain and Cyclocross Cycling Club - Mountain Bike Racer

International Mountain Bikers Association

Volunteer Experience

Boy Scouts of America, Sam Houston Area Council, Houston, Texas
Summer camp staff at El Rancho Cima's Horseshoe Bend Camp, 1995
Cockerel River Camp - 1993
Philmont Scout Ranch - 1992, 1994
Assistant Scoutmaster Troop 87, Spring, Texas, Polaris District
Explorer Post 555
Assisted in variety of volunteer efforts designed to benefit the community

Habitat for Humanity, Houston, Texas - Volunteer assisting in construction of homes

Red Cross Disaster Aid Volunteer - Houston, Texas

Texas Sports Medicine Center - Tomball, Texas - Volunteer Physical Therapy Assistant

*References available upon request.

what a terrible person you are...you flaunt sex with pervertedness and promiscuity... then you justify it with excuses like 'it's not so bad, i'm only human' and such... but your aberations disgust those around you... how many 'real' people have loved you in the 'real' world... name one... name one and you're saved... for your loneliness you drown it out with short-lived romance... feeding off self-validation... don't you get tired? I'd be exhausted... it's not funny when it's you though is it? it's not funny discovering all that 'love' was all a lie... how would that feel... your whole life you've been encompasing a lie... that nothing you've ever felt for anyone was 'real' or 'human'... it was all part of the lie... part of the game... part of the sickness... because you're sick and you know it... so you run from it... and never look back... it's all in the past now... it's all over now... it doesn't haunt you anymore... no one knows you... what does it mean to 'know' someone... nobody ever knows anyone ever... no one knows you... but they all know the game... because everyone has played it at some point as well... and they've all been so alone inside for much too long... now it's time for you to come out of it and be there with the rest of the world... and feel something real...do't mind me, I'm just as alone as you are.

What kind of love are you? by l0ve_actually
Username
People think your love is...	flirty
Your favorite thing about love is...	sex
Your kind of love is...	romantic
Quiz created with MemeGen!

I was going to sit on this, but then I thought about it for awhile and realized that I want some real competition.

About Halolympics:
Every week at the Alamo Drafthouse Village in Austin, Texas, we're inviting the most frag-fueled Halo fans to come out and show their stuff on the big screen. Well, big screens, actually, because we're going to have two theaters worth of mayhem going on linked over our very own hi-def LAN-united Xboxes. If you've never played Halo 2 on a movie screen before, you have no idea what you've been missing. Not only does your Master Chief or Covenant character look immensely larger than life, but there'll be a crowd of fellow Halo fans in the theater with you, watching and cheering along with every kill you score (or laughing at your feeble skills as you get bonked on the head over and over).

Each week's tournament will be a round-robin event focusing on Free For All matches of Halo 2 with none of that pussy radar shit helping you figure out where your opponents are. You'll be all alone against 7 other players, all trying to get the most kills in a 10 frag game of Slayer. The best players will move on to Round 2, where we'll switch the levels around and see who's got what it takes to get to the semi-finals. If you can hold your own against the best of the best then you'll have your shot at the final round: one on one Slayer with you fighting against the other best player, each on your own movie screen.
[url]
http://www.originalalamo.com/halolympics/austin.html[/url]

My pirate name is:

Dirty Tom Flint

You're the pirate everyone else wants to throw in the ocean -- not to get rid of you, you understand; just to get rid of the smell. Like the rock flint, you're hard and sharp. But, also like flint, you're easily chipped, and sparky. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from fidius.org.

Sorry I've been out of touch, I tend to do that sometimes. I head out to the lake or the river when I'm seeking some me time. I've got a few places around town that I don't tell my friends about and when I need it I just go. Sometimes though it's not enough since this is a little big city, so I pack my gear and I head out on the road and wherever I wind up is where I wind up. One time I just got in the car and drove. 15 hours later I was in Florida, I spent the weekend on the beach, slept in my car and just had a good time. It had been dark and raining back home so imagine my coworkers surprise when I came in with a nice sunburn tan.

I'm not always good at sharing my thoughts and feelings with someone. I tend to keep them to myself and I've noticed a pattern of fear of success in my life. I want to be happy, that's what I've come to realize, but I think I fear to be happy and that fear causes me to push people away, to not call to not message them when I know I should. It's not that I don't think of them or not want to call or write.

I've got an oral presentation in my british literature course and an exam in my psychology class coming up soon again. It seems the semester is flying by and I don't know what to do about it.

I'm still working at Barton Springs, though this is my last week and I have been looking for other possible jobs, I'm just not sure what I'd like to be doing, but I need to make a decision soon. the army still hasn't given me any idea of whether or not they're going to mobilize me. I've heard rumors that I can volunteer to be mobilized, but I'm not sure if I want to do that or not. I know it would give me a steady income and I'd be able to come back to Houston for awhile. It's something to think about. but nothing is ever guaranteed right?

I think about you and I wonder what you're doing and how things are going with you. How your studying is coming along and if you need a break from it to hang out with a certain someone, who knows? I've got to get some sleep for I'm working tomorrow, hooray for me.

Smile, cause I'm asking you too. have a great night, sleep well, sweet dreams and have a great day, a great week and whatever makes you happy.

thinking of you,
Hugh

All across the country on October 26th :
Video stores across the country will be waiving the usual rental fee for "Fahrenheit 9/11," beginning on October 26.

If you are a video store owner interested in getting involved, please e-mail us at F911ForFree@michaelmoore.com.

http://www.michaelmoore.com/books-films/fahrenheit911/free/index.php

Recent news:
- My Roommate and friend Darren had a cd release party at Firehouse on 6th and Brazos Tuesday the 12th, that was a lot of fun, I wore an eyepatch most of the night cause I thought it would be funny. I loved staring at people staring at me and them looking away really quickly. It was a good night, I'm still waiting for my free cd though, haha. Oh and I ran into someone I hadn't seen in a long time, he's a friend of a friend I used to have and I don't know if I want them back in my life or not.
- Wednesday the 13th of October I went to a birthday party for my friend Margarette and Heath at the RedEyeFly and had a frickin blast, I seriously enjoyed talking and meeting everyone there, ya can't beat free beer and friends!
- Thursday 14Oct I had a psychology test that I was really worried about, but I got to talk to my brother Charles over Xbox live so that was cool. later I hung out with the guys from FunnyPapers, I watched them play a very interesting game. it was kind of like Battle Chess with Superheroes.
- Went to houston for the Army 16/17October. I got a really bad haircut(15Oct), I'm practically bald. The Army proceeded to kick my ass physically then verbally. I'm sick, bruised, battered and tired. Oh and I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I did get to stop by the Starbucks at Kuykendahl and louetta and see a bunch of friends I hadn't seen in a long time.
- I lost my glasses 16October and had to drive all over Houston and then back to Austin without them, yeah that wasn't a whole lot of fun. luckily I have an up to date prescription and if I can scrape together enough cash then I'll be purchasing a new pair or two soon. any style reccomendations?
- Fell asleep at work while doing the new york times crossword puzzle, yep your tax dollars hard at work, haha. hey I was tired from this past weekend with the Army and I almost finished the crossword puzzle all by myself, so HA!
- Received my psychology test back and I'm happy to report a successful 86 on it. I'm happy with it, you should be too.
- Went to the Botanical Gardens for the first time, no I didn't see the Dinosaur prints, but I did see the turtle fossil. I highly reccomend it if you're coming to Austin, that and Barton Springs is right across the street along with the Umlauf Sculpture garden nearby, not to mention the hike and bike trails around the lake.
- I have an upcoming test in my British Lit II course that I'm a bit worried about. It's an in class essay test on the reading we've read up to this point and that's a lot of reading.
- I read comics and I'm not afraid to let people know. I shop at FunnyPapers at the Dobie Mall, I've got friends there who I hang with outside of the store.
- I think I might get into the Heroclix game because some of my friends here play it.
- I might go back to Houston this coming weekend for my friend Jason and his new band are having their first show at Helios at 7:00 p.m. and I'd like to see it and my friends.

This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness.
-- Dalai Lama

Due to this being a very politcal year, I decided to take a few online quizes to see where I fell in with the political spectrum. Here are the results:

http://www.okcupid.com/politics
The above test labeled me a Social Moderate (55% permissive)and an Economic Liberal
(33% permissive)and that I am best described as a: Centrist, I exhibit a very well-developed sense of Right and Wrong and believe in economic fairness.

Explanation Of Results

http://www.okcupid.com/politics wanted to get beyond the two catch-alls of American politics, the Democratic and Republican parties, and see where people actually stand. Parties can bring together people with marginally differing values and make collective action easier. But party platforms can misrepresent their constituents, and blind loyalty to a party can convince individuals to harbor inconsistent views.

The goal of this test was to exactly classify your personal politics, without the traditional labels. We avoided the edgy party issues and focused on fundamental values. Your score is a measure of what you believe in, economically and socially.

Higher permissiveness, on either axis, indicates a "live and let live" philosophy. Of course, we're almost conditioned in America, "Land of the Free", to think positively of such a philosophy. But practically speaking, permissiviness (or its opposite, regulation) can create any number of outcomes:

For example, on the economic axis, a highly permissive system, like the American system of the early 1900s, might mean things like low taxes and increased scientific innovation. It might also result, as it did back then, in unrestricted child labor and millions of poor people with black lung.

At the other end of the economic spectrum, a highly regulated system might conserve the environment, establish national health care, and eliminate poverty. But as we've learned from the Soviet system, extreme regulation can also lead to stagnation, sameness, and unhappiness.

Whereas http://www.politopia.com/ said that my political standpoint exists in Centerville - You would feel most at home in Centerville, which means that you are more or less pleased the status quo-you think the US government has just about the right amount of control over your economic and personal decisions. Your neighbors include democratic and republican party leaders and others who call themselves "moderates" and "centrists."

Now what does this mean? I don't know, but I invite you to respond and let me know what you think, I look forward to it. here's a recent conversation I had with my good friend Kyle, immediately after I took the first test. I respect his opinions and would like to share them with you.

HughHudson3: so I took this politics test to see where it said I fit in with my views and I was wondering what you might think
K Nielsen7: libertarian, authoritarian, liberal, or conservative?
HughHudson3: http://www.okcupid.com/politics
HughHudson3: You are a Social Moderate (55% permissive) and an...
Economic Liberal (33% permissive)You are best described as a: Centrist
HughHudson3: You exhibit a very well-developed sense of Right and Wrong and believe in economic fairness.
HughHudson3: what do you think? and what does this mean?
K Nielsen7: Liberals believe in government control over economic issues (high taxes, social programs, many regulations) and freedom in social issues (abortion, gay marriage, no sodomy laws, no indecency laws, strong support of free speech).
K Nielsen7: Conservatives favor government control over aforementioned social issues and freedom in economic issues.
K Nielsen7: Libertarians favor freedom in both areas, and authoritarians favor government control over both areas.
K Nielsen7: try this one: politopia.com
HughHudson3: oh by the way, the debate was at the west mall of the ut campus
HughHudson3: or the western side of the ut tower
K Nielsen7: ah ok
K Nielsen7: Badnarik was arrested tonight trying to get into the debates
K Nielsen7: along with the Green Party candidate
K Nielsen7: they said they were either going to debate or get arrested
K Nielsen7: and they got their wish
HughHudson3: haha
K Nielsen7: so anyway, think of a libertarian like the liberal social issues, like freedom of speech support, abortion, allowing gay marriage, and etc. and the conservative part of economics. Low taxes, few social programs, few regulations and such.
K Nielsen7: you are basically a liberal-leaning centrist
HughHudson3: haha, okay.
K Nielsen7: you're very close to the center on social issues and you lean a ways liberal on economic issues.
K Nielsen7: on the politopia map, top left is libertarian, top right is conservative, bottom left is liberal and bottom right is authoritarian
HughHudson3: taking the test now, but the questions are more cut and dry
K Nielsen7: yea, some quizzes have nebulous questions.
K Nielsen7: that don't really determine political ideology well
K Nielsen7: like for example "do you believe in helping people?" Many conservatives believe in helping people, but do not believe government is the best way to do so, so it makes for an ineffective question.
K Nielsen7: if you score the same, you'll be in the south, somewhat toward the center.
HughHudson3: actually I'm dead centerville
K Nielsen7: coo coo
HughHudson3: Centerville-You would feel most at home in Centerville, which means that you are more or less pleased the status quo-you think the US government has just about the right amount of control over your economic and personal decisions. Your neighbors include democratic and republican party leaders and others who call themselves "moderates" and "centrists."
HughHudson3: now what does that mean? that I could go either way, that I'm comfortable in all situations?
HughHudson3: so where do you fit in?
K Nielsen7: your opinions may become more solid one way or the other as the years pass
K Nielsen7: I'm top left
K Nielsen7: northwest
HughHudson3: really?
K Nielsen7: yeah
HughHudson3: who else do you know that has taken the test?
K Nielsen7: I believe in personal and economic freedom
K Nielsen7: some people at DSLR
HughHudson3: that's cool
K Nielsen7: some scored center, some liberal, some conservative
K Nielsen7: 1 authoritarian

The idea I get from Kyle is that it doesn't matter what your beliefs are you can still be friends with someone who thinks and acts differently from yourself. There are more political quiz's out there and I might take them and I might not, I've got time to think about my decision. Who am I going to vote for come November 2nd? like that freaky chick from that movie, " I'll never tell".

I'm pleased to announce that on Tueday, October 5, 2004 Mason Thomas Cooper made his debut weighing in at 8lbs 11oz after 13 hours of labor. He is the newborn son of my good friend Leslie Cooper, the proud mother who is now resting at home in Houston.

my friend eric just moved to houston, he's cool, please make him feel welcome: 469-323-1374 AIM: PerfectRoundHead

Apparantly...



But who believes in science anyway?

In other news I've had an eventful few weeks. Working at Barton Springs has been a blast this Summer, yet all good things must come to an end so they say and that end will be soon unfortunately. Sometime in October I will once again be looking for a job. Speaking of jobs, I can't help but mention the Army, I've been given a verbal warning that I will be recalled to Active Duty status either late in December or early January. What do I think about that? I'm not sure what to think, I don't know where they'll send me or what I'll have to do, but I'll do it. Simply because it's my job. There's more to it, but I don't feel like going into it here.

Onto the News, last weekend was the Austin City Limits Festival and yours truly decided to attend when friends from Houston called and asked for a place to stay while the event was going on, they had planned to attend, yet they didn't have a place to stay, they didn't have an extra ticket either, so of course I said yes and set about working out how I was going to attend and not have to pay to do so. Working at the Pool has its advantages sometimes, so I started looking at the wristbands of the patrons coming into the pool and I noticed that a lot of them had not cut the ends of the plastic wristband off, so it only took a few tries before I had a collection of end pieces and with some tape I had what appeared with the covering of a thick leather watchband what looked like an ACL wristband. Then I had to test it and with a little apprehension I walked straight through the gates and into ACL. I'll come back and edit this with a list of artists that I saw later.

Other events include:
The Army kicking my ass and taking up my time
Psychology test
Brit Lit 2 Papers due
A burlesque show with the girls from Red Light and others
A Sausage Fest Fundraiser for the Black label Bike club
A Book Signing and reading with Chuck Pahlaniuk ( Author of Fight Club)

What 80`s movie are you? Legend

Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

I am proud to announce that I will be in Houston from the 26th of August through the 28th, whereupon I will be returning to Austin. Thank you, that is all.

My japanese name is 猿渡 Saruwatari (monkey on a crossing bridge) 雄大 Masahiro (big hero).
Take your real japanese name generator! today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

I am a god. I am a faceless warrior...
I am the shadow in the dark
the final gleam in a descending arc

 
I am bored, it is late and I'm writing nonsense...

Ok go to www.babynames.com and at the top there is a search... type in your name and find out what your name or names mean...

Hugh = Bright in Mind and Spirit ( wtf? )

http://www.hickmanindustries.com/film/booth.jpg

interesting.

http://austin.craigslist.org/apa/36747026.html

the above is a link to the house my friends and I have leased.
403 Franklin
Austin, Tx 78751

In 1977 (the year you were born)

Jimmy Carter becomes president of the US Most of the 10,000 Vietnam War draft evaders are pardoned by President Carter Singer Anita Bryant starts her "Save Our Children" crusade against gay rights Elvis Presley dies in his Graceland bathroom Congress creates a Department of Energy Anwar Sadat flies to Jerusalem in a dramatic gesture of willingness to discuss peace Orlando Bloom, Shakira, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Liv Tyler, and Ludacris are born New York Yankees win the World Series Oakland Raiders win Superbowl XI Montreal Canadiens win the Stanley Cup Swedish music group ABBA passes The Beatles as having most records sold Star Wars is the top grossing film The Shining by Stephen King is published "You Light Up My Life" by Debby Boone spends the most time at the top of the US charts Three's Company premieres

What Happened the Year You Were Born?

More cool things for your blog at
Blogthings

Where have all the good men goneAnd where are all the gods?Where's the street-wise HerculesTo fight the rising odds?Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?Late at night I toss and turn and dreamof what I needI need a heroI'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the nightHe's gotta be strongAnd he's gotta be fastAnd he's gotta be fresh from the fightI need a heroI'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning lightHe's gotta be sureAnd it's gotta be soonAnd he's gotta be larger than lifeSomewhere after midnightIn my wildest fantasySomewhere just beyond my reachThere's someone reaching back for meRacing on the thunder end rising with the heatIt's gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feetUp where the mountains meet the heavens aboveOut where the lightning splits the seaI would swear that there's someone somewhereWatching meThrough the wind end the chill and the rainAnd the storm and the floodI can feel his approachLike the fire in my blood

Things have been happening,

I have a new gmail account at hmelrose@gmail.com please email me there.

I am also moving out of my apartment complex early next month and into a lovely new house with a few of my good friends. the address is as follows:

403 Franklin
Austin, Tx 78751

Other events will be posted shortly, perhaps later though.

In other more recent events,  it's 4:28 a.m. now, but you'll never guess that I'm wide frickin awake for one of the craziest reasons. Tonights festivities include a local bum I've had problems with trespassing and possibly breaking into apartments, harassing tenants, caught crawling through my dumpsters, etc. the same black guy nicki had problems with.
well Tonight at approx 3:37 A.M. my good friend, Ruben, our buildings neighbor, saw the bum break into my building, he woke me up and he watched the downstairs as I made my way up floor by floor throughout the building, checking hallways, doors, community bathrooms. I found the guy on the floor outside 201&202! laying there with his head next to the underside of one of the doorjambs, I almost pounced on him right then, but I didn't want to wake anyone up and scare them to, so I snuck up on the guy and tapped him on the leg and told him he needed to get the fuck up and get out, I followed him down the stairs and out the side door and he stopped, just stood there. I told him he needed to keep going, he said he was waiting on someone, I told him he could go wait somewhere else. he took the hint and wandered off I think.
I came back inside and dialed 311 which is almost like 911 but it's non-emergency police, don't ever dial it, you'll never get anyone to actually respond to it in a timely manner. just call 911 and act like a dying sorority girl, then you might get some response. It's been about 30 min since I've called them and still no response.
So that's my night and now I can't sleep. because this bum got in one time tonight and I don't know how. Ruben says he saw him just walk right up to the door and go in, maybe he's got a key, maybe the door didn't shut all the way. who knows. he got in once and I don't know how.
Guess what dear reader, as I was closing this up, Austin's Finest showed up, took them long enough though the bum is long gone though I know what he looks like, so perhaps 311 does work, you just have to mention that there are females in danger and they'll be on their way.

I still won't be able to sleep tonight though...

Ah, these days... these days that come before us and the days that follow after are often shrouded in shades of grey, often too often I find myself mirrored in the rain. the cloud filled skies seek to mirror the pain I hold within my heart.

this night, I shall not speak of what has brought me to so low a mood, rather I shall endeavor to speak of the more recent past and the happy times, the sunshine if you will on my cloudy days...

Beginning with my Birthday, the 23rd of June, I know I sent notices to you all and harrassed you for days on end and for that I apologize if only a bit. You see that was to be my day and mine alone, set aside for me. To those of you who couldn't be there to share it with me and yet still called or sent me your warm wishes I heartily give thanks to you, my friends you'll never truely know how much you mean to me.

It was a good night, not as many people showed as said they would, but still a good night with friends, low key and beginning at the Jackalope a local bar downtown that I like to skulk about in. Friends came and left, some stayed longer while others didn't. it was good, there was cake and drinks, a camera or two. then off to the Red Fez for more drinks, British Pop music and a meet and greet with some of Austins musical underground. Thank you Sarah, Rion, Mark for sharing the night with me. As I said I kept it low key. nothing spectacular, no wild and craziness, just me and some friends, that's all I've ever wished for.

The weekend forthcoming from my birthday, was filled with the promise of a bright future for two of my most deserving of friends, in fact they should have their own posting, but I am in a melancholy mood tonight, perhaps this is my idea of being dramatic, I'm not sure. I any case two of my good friends, people that I care about were to and now are married. Jason and Leslie, whom you'll find links to their blogs/journals on your left joined hands and lives in a beautiful ceremony on the 27 of June, a Sunday amid the storms of summer did they bind their lives together. I can't tell you how happy I am for them, it knows no bounds.

Add into this a girl, no a young woman, whom I had met before and was intrigued by, entranced by, amazed by almost a year previously. A friend of a friend met only briefly before, but still in those moments amazing. I had the great and good fortune to meet her again, to speak with her one on one. The night seemed to last forever and I did not want it to end. It has been so long since... well, I won't go into that here, but she was a beam of light in my darkness, perhaps a way out of this rain I dwell in greyness... my life a shadow of what it could be, but for those few days, the heavens opened up and sunshine, music, everything was beautiful, but it paled in comparison to her beauty, not just physical yet also emotional, intellectual, everything about this woman set my heart to racing, my mind was aflame with thoughts for her and it still is. but I know I must go slowly, though everything in me says to leap forward uncaring of the consequences. I must hold back, I don't want to lose her, to push her away. the things we spoke about, the realities, the imaginings, future plans our shadowed pasts everything about this woman sang to me like a thousandfold orchestral storm strumming my heart and my life with infinite splendor. I am dazzled by this woman. If she asks me for my heart it is hers. I know there is pain in both our pasts, she hasn't spoken to me of hers, but I can sense it, does she sense my own fears? I don't know. I want so much out of this life. I don't want to push her away, but I want to pull her close. I know I must give her space, time, no labels, I must show her I care, but in subtle ways. I must stop babbling before she thinks I'm a complete lunatic.

my cold and shattered heart was warmed in her prescence...

come to tonight, tonight was a good one up until a point, it is not over, but soon it will be and I will have to put my head down to bed. goodnight unto you my friends. thank you for reading these meager words.

Click to see my Star Wars Personality!!

I think I now REALLY like Bruce Springstein. This good ole boy really has deep thoughts. The more popular this man became, the more he expresses what is truly on his mind. A bold move many industry artists horribly avoid!

Read Bruce Springstein's Public Message.

Alright,so it was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new law was that, in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day when you died. The Angel at the gate said to the man, "Before I let you in, I need you to tell me how your day was going when you died."
"No problem," the man said. "I came home to my 10th floor apartment on my lunch hour and caught my wife half naked. I knew she was fucking some bitch, I glanced out onto the balcony and noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips! Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers until he fell to the ground. But wouldn't you know it, he landed in some trees and bushes that broke his fall and he didn't die. This pissed me off even more. I wanted to kill the fucker! So I unplugged my refrigerator, pushed it out onto the balcony, and tipped it over the side. It plummeted 10 stories and crushed him! The excitement of the moment was so great that I had a heart attack and died almost instantly."
The Angel considers this, and let's him in cuz it WAS a bad day....The next dude comes up, and is asked the same question. So the dude replies, "But you're not going to believe this. I was on the balcony of my 11th floor apartment doing my daily exercises. I was really pushing hard, and I guess I got a little carried away, slipped, and accidentally fell over the side! Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the fingertips on the balcony below mine. But all of a sudden this crazy man comes running out of his apartment, started cussing, and stomps on my fingers. I fell and fucking hit some trees and bushes at the bottom which broke my fall so I didn't die right away. As I'm laying there face up on the ground in shock and in excruciating pain, I see this guy push his refrigerator, of all things, off the balcony. It falls the 10 floors and lands on top of me, killing me instantly."

So the Angel chuckles, thinks his job is pretty cool, and let's this dude in...the third dude comes up, and again the Angel asks him the same question about how he died. So the dude goes, 'Okay, picture this, I'm hiding in this refrigerator right..."

H	Hilarious
U	Unusual
G	Gloomy
H	Handy
M	Mystical
E	Entertaining
L	Little
R	Relaxing
O	Organic
S	Slippery
E	Eccentric

Name / Username:

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

My Birthday, the 23rd of June, jackalope, located at 404 E. 6th St. Austin, Tx 78701 who's invited? you and all your friends especially those who like to drink, dance to 80's music, listen to the occasional local bands, and did I say drink? sarah's bringing the cake!!

So I'm going to be 27, you don't really have to get me anything, just showing up is good enough for me. Y'all are all going to be out anyway. so why not spend some time with friends.

Oh and if you don't show up, I'll hunt you all down.
Thanks!
Hugh
512-947-2848
hugh.h.melrose@us.army.mil
AIM:HughHudson3
YahooIM:Whotookmyshorts
MSN:Imortalrooster@collegeclub.com

Then after mine is all done and not soon forgotten, get ready for Sarah's Bday!!in JenRea style, she's giving us kids a month! or something like that, till her birthday gets here!

the plan as it stands its a pajama/lingerie at Joe's new house on or about July 8th. so start getting that outfit together! I know you can do it! you sexy mother fuckers!

and its plenty of time to save for that fab. present you're gonna buy Her!

It seems we stood and talked like this before
We looked at each other in the same way then
But I can't remember where or when. . .

Frozen whisper Night breathes shadows Ghosts stir snow
Night fades to dawning day Sunrise over green budding leaves
Warm air billows Tarmac like black fire Summer Hitch-hike
Warm air heats, hotter, brighter Limp grass lies thirsty and parched
Skies cloud over Silver shower of September Darken colored leaves
Leaves rustle crisply sighing Dark bare trees stand, sentinels
Owls in the twilight Ruffled wings stirs silence Lonely hunter flies
Winged hunter floats over snow Deepening darkness creeps
Lone moon rises Winter glows with ancient life Nature’s nightlight

Here's an interesting report on Pat Tillman, the football player recently killed in Afghanistan.

Some of y'all might think this is an anti-war post and on today of all days you might especially think it is. But today is JUNE 6th and Sixty years ago, thousands of young men flew over the english channel into the fight of their lives. My Grandfather was among them and he didn't come home. REMEMBER! That's right remember where you came from, those who fought for you, who died for you and those who have to live with the memories.

Soldiers aren't inhuman beasts of war, we're men and women, fathers and mothers, sons and daughters, aunts and uncles and we are scared, though we fight on even in the midst or irksome tasks and weighty responsibilities, we continue on.

War isn't a good thing, nor is it always a necessary thing, but sometimes it is.

REMEMBER!!!

I'm a big fan of the comma myself and use it absurdly, but then absurdity is the thing to do these days, kind of like being on a reality t.v. show. Yes, I write, but I hesitate to call myself a writer even though anyone who can pick up a pencil and drag it across a piece of paper is technically a writer. My own work includes, poetry, lyrics, short stories, massive amounts of pages of illegible well past midnight scrawlings among other things. I have so much in me that I need to get out and I can't always find the words. Lately I've been in a slump, I have a character, an idea, a moment, but I don't know where to go with him... he seems so lost in the rain I don't know how to bring the sunshine back into his life.

I must say though that I'm entertained by the notion of "act wisely" if I did that I wouldn't be on the internet, but then the search for truth doesn't have a paved road or a map, so maybe the internet is appropriate after all. Read? Yes, Yes I read a lot. Practically anything I can get my hands on though I grew up in mythology/history/ sci-fi/fantasy realm and have lately in the past few years ventured into the fictional arena of Vonnegut, Welsh, Pahlaniuk, etc.

Do you enjoy playing in the rain, how wonderful is that? I need more friends that don't mind getting a little wet and muddy. Most don't seem to understand that it's the same thing as taking a shower or walking through Houston on any given day of the year and they're perfectly fine with that.

This could go on and on, but I've got to get some sleep in me before the dawn gets too much closer. enjoyed and looking forward to more replies. I doubt most of us will ever meet as I don't happen to live on your street or even in your neighborhood, but if fate does turn it's eye our way I'd like to think we'd at least be great friends. Have a great one all!

the time is never now. we never know who we should love and we're never certain how. these things used to come so easily when it didnt really matter where you were in the end.

It'll never like the night we spent together, the time spent didn't last forever and I only have these stolen words to remember a passion like the night we spent together.

What is this pain that reminds me, resides within me, abides me, chides me.. haunts me throughout the night, forces sleep away from my tired eyes, so many sleepless nights, so many paths of memory wandered, tired walking, a dead man, heart shattered and poor, bedraggled, a fierce love's fire died in the onslaught of a shower of tears, a storm of pain, fizzled out this burning ember, endings never a beginning...

ok, who i really am sort of, so at first I refused to be involoved with myspace or friendster because I hate to sit in front of the computer, but then I was convinced by friends so I decided to join but only as half me / half joke. but I've been thinking lately, about me and all this info and maybe I should be more specific about who I am. so I guess here it goes in no particular order and much more of a rambling on of who I think I am at this point in time.

I hate to work a lot, but I work three jobs. I love to be alone but then I feel something's missing. I have anxiety issues especially in the morning when mixed with too much coffee or when I play video games. I'm way too self conscience, then some days I'm too vain. I would say I'm shy but given the right people, circumstances and usually alcohol I'm not at all. I'm ambitious and I want a lot out of life but I'm lazy. I'm a procrastinator but who isn't. I want to be loved but am afraid of getting hurt and where there is love there is usually pain. I love my friends and my family more than I feel they'll ever understand and they'd say I'm crazy for saying that. Some days I feel like I know exactly who I am and what I want and then other days it's all in question. I think sometimes I try to hard to fit in or be "cool", whatever that is, then other days I could care less. I wish I acted more out of impluse but thankful I don't. I'm sure there's more but the truth serum is fading. oh yeah, I have no regrets.

Memorial Day Poem
Many have walked a path, a jagged road
Leading to tears of peace entwined with fears.
These times were not their chosen ways,
But soldiers took their stand.
The breezes of war, kiss their brow
Made the young old before their time
...and others ageless from the sound of reapers in the field.

They lived in a time of unfamiliar boundaries
Life made up of loyalty to our country and forced survival.
Preserving independence, rights and liberties
Freedom redeemed at countless costs
Common men and women performing uncommon acts of valor
Leaving behind all they have ever known
...Family, friends, jobs and mother-land.

Masses went, to fight upon foreign soils
Their faces have been forgotten,
But the wounds, the pains and the cries remain.
Tired eyes mourning from within, looking out at
Blood covered promises and sorrow worn victories.
Searching for, yet not wanting to find,
...Buddies that have fallen, the victims of war.

Pride in serving, the pain in remembering
Colors of the crimson soaked sod and blurred visions of the mind.
How thankful we should be, we should sing the tune of memories
Of forgotten heros standing at past history's door
They went and came home, many returned in part...
Let us remember those who returned in lifeless form
...and never stop looking for those labeled M.I.A. and P.O.W.

Memorial Day, a time to pay tribute for the ultimate sacrifice.
Celebrate with your picnics, beach outings and reunions,
But teach your children about the sacrifices made,
Pride in the United States and the courage of the past.
Men and women, no matter how large or small the part,
Left their all behind, footprints of war imprinted in the annals of time.
Let us give them bitter-sweet honor of a hero-respect
...and a heartrending thanks.

I rarely post anything personal here anymore, I bet you're wondering if there's a reason? yes, there is always a reason, will I go into it? I don't know...

I fell, we all fall, clinging to our lofty ideals.

I suppose it was bound to come together this way.

I don't really have anything to tell you. I'm just...I'm doing well. I have no complaints. You know me,there's always a school, or a work, or a girl. Or all
three. Though right now there just happens to be too much work and not enough school and no girl, These things catch my attention and don't let go.

I'm told pride is my vice among other things. I am prideful. Maybe it's not conciet. Maybe it's not condescention or cockiness, or convolution of thought. Maybe I'm just prideful.

Yesterday my pride got me into trouble. Anne, one of my boss's, asked me to take out the trash and mow the lawn of our apartment complex that I manage. It was the way she told me. Her voice. Not sotto voce by any means. And the fact that she never does it herself anymore, the old manager never mowed the lawn, I feel trapped.

I got angry. I was about leave. I hadn't felt good all day. And I have had a hard week with little to no sleep especially for the last 36 hours and I wasn't ready to deal.

She yelled about my never being there and that I would have to make a decision, I told her she needed to fix things around here, that I couldn't keep lying to people. I feel ill about it all.

Whatever it was, I got pissed and we argued about everything and anything. I raised my voice only twice.
(I think.)

Finally, I said I would take out the trash and go mow the lawn. I apologised and I asked her nicely not to tell me what to do, but simply ask. I am after all a Human being. I swallowed my pride, in other words. She, however, gave me an ultimatum. I apparrantly need to make a choice. whether to work for her or for the city.

And I wished she would have just accepted my words. But instead, she says, that I need to make a decision.

I was on my feet before my mind kicked in.

I was upset. Again. And I started over.

Self-control is important.

The number one thing to do on Maxim's (and my) List of Things To Do Before You Die is thus: Sucker punch your boss.

I was closer that day than ever.

But I'd like to be a better person than I am ...

one day.

Anyhow, I didn't plan on having a post for you today or really any other day, I never plan these things. So here is an old one that summarizes kind of whom I am. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it hurts.

But in the end, we all fall, clinging to our lofty ideals.

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Ode to Myself.
(Statements in the first person.)
I got a letter in the mail today. It read: "Class action lawsuit."

I got a letter today that said, "Harris County Criminal Courts."

I'll be fine ... One of these days!

I am the slow down ramp.

I mention this because my own love life is fuct.

I'm such a hopeless romantic.

I'm a gentleman, and old-fashioned scholar.

I fell, we all fall, clinging to our lofty ideals.

I sat on the curb and cried.

I wish they were here.

I wish she were here.

I used to stand in the rain.

I know that you have low self-esteem.

I know that I have low self-esteem.

I got kicked out of the cage by some cunt.

I got pissed and wandered around the inner city.

I was like, not much, are you going to rob me like that?

I couldn't think of anything funny to say as I drove off, so I said, "You're fired. I don't love you, it's not my child anyhow, and I hope I never see you again..."

I own the road. When I say 'I own it' it's not like I think it's mine. It really is mine. I have paid for 1/276,000th of that road through city and county taxes. It's mine. I own it.

I am going to Los Angelos to write a screenplay about lovers that kill each other...

I know you don't care.

I live inside a bubble. My own little world where nothing really ever happens and there is a happy ending. I decieve myself often on this basis.

I drink Dr. Pepper out of wine glasses.

I woke up and screamed 'God is trying to kill me.'

I had three chicks hovering around me. Proof positive, in my mind, that women still feel the need to be protected in dark places.

I am going to flunk out of school and become a car salesman. That way I can get paid to lie.

I was a cocky fuck back then (and now still am or so I'm told) but it didn't amount to much then and it doesn't amount to much now.

I wanted to tell you so much.

I wanted you to know so much.

I feel bad for him, I really do.

I find it the most unfair thing in the world that I am now half through my Bachelor's Degree and yet I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

I don't care what you saw on a cartoon, don't do that again in public...

I figured on checking him, hunting him down and swiftly, furiously beating him.

I ran right up to him this morning and pushed him back into the maintenance closet.

I told him he didn't know me.

I ripped through that school looking for this dude.

I did it in front of my girl, she was my girl then.

I was extra chipper this morning.

I actually SANG this morning.

I stalk my neighbors.

I Say Whatever The Fuck I Like.

I'd beat my postman senseless if I didn't fear ...