In an unfortunate/fortunate turn of events I will not be going on the mission as previously noted, I will however be in town for Alicia's Birthday! ( at least as far as I know) you can learn more about her at http://hamadryad.blogspot.com/

Sorry for the short post. life's been a little crazy lately, The Army is always a Hurry up and wait type of organization which changes it's mind on a moments basis. So I passed my physical fitness test this morning for nothing, well not nothing I know that I can pass the standards that are set and that is something positive.

in a totally unrelated post that will make you smile anyway, The incredible Hulk's Blog. Have a nice day! I'm leaving work now!

TEMPORARILY I'M OUT OF ORDER my reccomendation for the day don't bite the hand that feeds the gift horse that you can't look at in the mouth that bites off more bullets than he can chew. I hope all your dreams come true. I am currently accepting applications for drinking buddies, that swear like sailors, drink like pirates, and have hearts of gold. I can always use another ass to be smart with or something like that.

Goodmorning everybody, last night was a late one for the ol'Hughster and this morning's breakfast consisted of pretzels and red bull and I'm existing in a fog of caffeine and mental wonderings. So here I sit all caffeineted and thinking.

I'm planning to be at Starbucks for a bit tonight if y'all want to meet up let me know or hell just show up.

"Happiness is a choice that requires effort at times." -Anon.

"People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost." -H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

"Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action." -Benjamin Disraeli

Basically I'm Happy and I know that it requires work to be such, but most of the time it's easy other times it's not so easy. It is a choice that requires effort to not fall into a funk or let things get you down. Not everyone's view of happiness isn't the same as everyone else that's what makes this world so great, sometimes we stray from the path and we could use the help of our friends and I'm glad for mine. I know I truly live for others, my friends are chief among the things that make me happy and I am glad for that. In order to be happy you must make a concerted effort to be happy you must act happy and you will eventually be happy. If you sit idle and alone you're going to feel idle and alone and that road leads to nowhere but sadness. If that should ever occur give me a call and I'll be more than willing to listen or come if you need me.

We might be best friends one year,
Pretty good friends the next year.
Don't talk that often the next year,
Don't want to talk at all the year after that.

So, I just wanted to say,
Even if I never talk to you again in my life,
You are special to me and you have made a difference
in my life.
I respect you, and truly cherish you.

No matter how often we talk,
Or how close we are, or are not
I just want to let old friends know I
Haven't forgotten them, and to tell new friends I never
will.

Remember, everyone needs a friend.
Someday you might feel like you have no friends at
all.

Just remember this post and take comfort in knowing
that someone out there cares about you and always
will.

I'm patiently awaiting the next installment of This or That Tuesdays.

In other news I'm still a little frustrated, but I'm dealing with it. I was able to vent a little and that has helped a tremendous amount, Thank you all for bearing with me in my own mental crisis.

Today should be a good day, there is no other way to describe my expectations

*UPDATE as of 3:15p.m. 29July2003*
Today was a good day, will goals accomplished and plans made, I'm still working on plans though, never idle for very long am I. I'm glad to report that I am in a happier mood thanks to a certain phone call I received last night that just made me smile like crazy, ah plans are indeed being made. I'm still leaving again on Friday, though that still rests on what happens Thursday morning. The Army has a rule that all soldiers going on a mission must be physically fit, so they test us before we go. As if we didn't have enough pressure on us already with the lives of our fellow soldiers in our hands. So I hit the gym hardcore this afternoon, though I did most of my workout outside in the 100 plus degree heat and am feeling a little light headed, and I have an hour drive or more to the northside after this, why we don't do physical training in the morning I don't know. Anyway I'm going to cool down and hit the road. if you want to make sure that I get home safely feel free to contact me at any time. Have a great one!
*END OF UPDATE*

And now for my public service announcement of the day:
10 Tips for Backpacking
10. Always underpack, as you'll end up wearing most of the same stuff anyways. Allow for weather, but disregard a fresh-ironed fashion sense. Remember, you'll be carrying everything on your back.
9. Stay in hostels as often as possible. If you're not a delicate sleeper and don't mind sacrificing a little privacy and some pampering, they're the best place to meet new people and get the real scoop on the places you're staying. They're also the cheapest option by far.
8. Be careful what you bring with you between countries, you know what we mean? What might be legal in one country, or a slap on the wrist in the U.S., could be a huge deal just one country over, and American tourists are often searched. You remember all those movies with naive Americans in foreign jails? Don't be that kid. Your real-life cellmate probably won't be as attractive as Claire Danes.
7. Don't bring anything too nice, like laptops or expensive cameras. You'll stand out as a target and spend the whole time worrying about it. Buy disposable cameras along the way and send them home when they fill up.
6. Try not to travel in too big of a group. Anything more than two people and you risk isolating yourself from meeting anyone new. The same goes for guy and girl groups of two. If you look like a couple, people will probably treat you like a couple. That really hurts your chances of any hookups.
5. Learn the name and a good pronunciation of the place you're staying, as well as the name of the largest street it's near. This leaves the option of cabs open, and you don't have to worry about getting lost along the subways of some new country or finding your way back after too long at the club.
4. Don't count your money in public. Keep a small amount in an accessible pocket to pay for your lunch or small incidentals, and keep the rest in a travel wallet or tucked away somewhere on you. This way you don't have to lug out a big pimp-roll every time you want to buy a drink.
3. Keep your passport and your license in different places, along with a photocopy of your passport. Never have one bag that you'd be absolutely screwed if you lost.
2. Take plastic trash bags -- you'll be surprised how often you'll use them. They're good for everything from a poor man's tent to a raincoat, carrying dirty or wet laundry, trash and for wrapping up your more delicate items when you're really roughing it.
1. Keep your schedule as open as possible. A place you thought you might have wanted to be for four days might start feeling old after two. You'll probably also miss a train here or there or miscalculate traveling time, and a strict itinerary of sightseeing and hotel reservations will feel like an overwhelming obligation.

I will be posting more later so stay tuned!

I had an awesome past four days while in Austin and last night some people had to go an fuck it up, thanks a freaking lot for busting my natural high with all your crap, and you want to know what else is going on? this morning the shit keeps coming, what the fuck is wrong with you people is it crap on Hugh week or what? I'm seriously going to loose it sometime real soon and just beat the hell out of someone. damn I'm angry, and I don't get angry!! I keep a tight reign on my emotions, I hold them close inside. my usual existence is one of a zen mental calm but y'all seem to want to persist in trying to force me out of it.

I hate people who want to play games both figuratively and metaphorically, y'all want to stack the deck against your opponents so that you can shine and feel all good about yourselves. that's no challenge it's simply disgustingly disrespectful.

I had something good going and y'all fucked it up.

I live within a tight restraint of codes and ethics, you don't seem to realize this, yeah I laugh and I joke a lot, but I control myself. I place a restriction or I say I'm going to do something and I do it. I knew my time here was only temporary so I decided to not try to form a relationship with anyone and when I in the last few weeks of my being here I violate my own code and everything's going to shit and I've got too much to deal with to think about it.

You might see me for about five minutes before I leave again. I leave on friday Aug 1st and will return about the 15th and then I turn right back around and leave again on the 17th, but I should be back by the 23rd or possibly later. I have no idea where I'm going, but the pressure and the responsibilities are intensely enormous and it's crushing me, not to mention the fact that there's talk of me being released from Active Service after I return so I have to line up a job in this messed up civillian world, college is still up in the air, where I'm going to live is almost uncertain. How my family is going to be able to cope when I'm gone, if I even get the chance to go. I've got friends here that I'll have to leave behind, not to mention certain others who are close to my heart and yet everyone expects me to be Happy Ol'Hugh... well screw you!! life ain't pretty... DEAL WITH IT!

ARRGHRRR!!!! my head is going to explode with all of this... Fuck I'm gone...

There is out there one Blog to guide them all, And in the Darkness Blog Them. Tonight, this early morning, I blog this blog for you.

I'm currently in Austin and thouroughly enjoying the experience, I miss this town immensely. The mood, atmosphere and the scenery are by far unmatched. I long to return here fully and that is the reason I am here now, to prepare for my return.

While here in Austin, I have noticed changes to the landscape or should I say cityscape. old establishments are gone, while new grow in their place, such is the life cycle of this town.

I will be returning to Houston soon, but not for long, work will soon take me away again, leaving the 1st of August I won't return for several weeks, and when I return I may not be staying very long and after I return from that I'll be better able to make a decision as to when I'll be able to return fully to Austin.

Tonight, this morning I want to say to all of you who matter and you know who you are because you're reading this or you're not, either way you all matter to me and I want to thank you for being a part of my life.

Tomorrow I will be at the Austin Gaming Expo a little fringe benefit that I didn't know about when I came up here. details will follow.

As for now, everyone have a great night and a great day!

"One of the most adventurous things left us is to go to bed. For no one can lay a hand on our dreams."
-E. V. Lucas, 365 Days and One More

"Throw your dreams into space like a kite, and you do not know what it will bring back, a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country." -Anais Nin, The Diaries of Anaïs Nin

"Dreams are the touchstones of our character." -Henry David Thoreau

never stop dreaming or seeking or striving for your goals, life is beautiful as my friend Haitham says... I'm never gonna stop, so you'd better not.

By the way, I think I'm going to go to Austin this weekend...

Today I'm a new day rising...last night was beautiful...the dawn is so much the better for it.

Though I woke up late, got to work late, was yelled at for being late, I've got a blister on my foot, right between my toes from the physical fitness test I took yesterday and I was threatened with a paint detail all weekend, put in charge of a bunch of idiots and am about to go to lunch with a moron who doesn't have any cash to pay for his own lunch...there's oh so many more hours in the day to go...

tick tick tick... goes the clock...

Lunch was decent, Chick-fil-A'd it, the food was okay the company wasn't. now I've got some things to do, like work or something.

On behalf of ronincyberpunk:

I have less than 48 hours until it is time for me to spend 24 hours blogging, and living in this desk chair.

BLOGATHON 2003 - stay up late, make a difference.

48 hours for me to raise another two hundred dollars. My original goal was $1,000 for the Myeloproliferative Disease Foundation, so I'm planning to raise $200 before the event and then during the day and the day after I'm hoping to tip the scale past the mark.

Now, I need to make sure everyone who wants to donate knows how this will work - the MPD Foundation only accepts donations by Check.

And what do you get for donating? Well I'm going crazy trying to get rid of all this networth! Check this out:

$5 still gets you blogshares cash $10,000,000
$10 returns to you b$50,000,000
$25 returns to you b$250,000,000
$50 returns to you b$600,000,000
$100 returns to you b$1,500,000,000

Is that crazy or what!?

http://www.ronincyberpunk.com/ -- http://www.blogathon.org

July 22: Audience Potpourri Participation! an EXTENDED version of This-Or-That Tuesday!

1) DVD or VHS?
lately it's been DVD, it's just so portable and storable, though I still have a ton of VHS
2) Best Literary/Movie Villan: Voldemort (Harry Potter) or Sauron (LoTR)?
Voldemort's a pansy compared to Sauron, Voldemort couldn't even handle a little kid like harry potter fumbling through his so called magic spells, Sauron however has to deal with Gandalf, that's some major work there and he just throws him around like a rag doll at first and then creates a massive army of magically and genetically altered super-soldiers, Voldemort can't even light a candle compared to Sauron. And now that I've proclaimed my geekdom, let's move on. next question.
3) Meat: rare or well-done?
I like my meat medium-well, cooked just so that it's slightly tough, but still juicy.
4) High Speed Internet-Cable or DSL?
Wi-Fi baby it's all about the roaming freedom, other times I'm dealing with my T-1 connection here at work, but at home I have the option of getting Cable, but I really don't need it.
5) Women: 1-piece bathing suit or Bikini?
6) To be fair--Men: Boxers or briefs?
I'm a boxer's kind of guy, I like the freedom it affords me, cause I need room to move. but for working out I have some spandex type stay dry shorts I wear under my workout shorts.
7) Beer or Liquor/Wine?
I don't drink all that often and only with friends or possibly on a date, I guess it depends on the situation.
8) Coke or Mountain Dew? I don't drink coke's/soda and when I do it's rare, but I'll take a mountain dew over a coke any day. Have you seen the acid levels in Coke? that stuff could take the paint off cars and people put it in their stomachs, crazy.
9) In honor of my 10/18/03 nuptials: Morning or Afternoon/Night Wedding?
early morning leaves plenty of time in the day for other things, like the reception and everything, but it will leave you little time to get some sleep and get ready the afternoon will give you time to get ready and you can (if you can ) sleep in, but at night you'll have the stars to guide you.
10) Carpet or Hardwood Floors
Hardwood floors in the kitchen and possibly the living areas with throw rugs to help muffle the sound and something to roll around on in front of the fireplace. but carpet in the bedrooms, definitely. you don't want to wake up in the morning and put your feet down on a cold floor.
11) American cars or foreign?
Honestly I'm a big Toyota and Nissan fan, Trucks and SUV's mainly. I know, I know I should buy American to help on the homefront, but I like the look and the feel of the foreign make.
12) Cutest TV Twin: Mary-Kate or Ashley Olsen?
These girls combined form the anti-christ... it's a sickening situation of juvenile exploitation.
13) Coffee: Caffeinated or Decaf?
Seriously, do you even have to ask this, Caffeine is my best friend and lately it's the only thing keeping me alive. Ah that sweet caffeine...mmm...how do I love thee? let me count the ways, coffee, tea, frappuccino, hot chocolate, red bull....ah sweet caffeine...
14) Thought-Provoking Question of the Week: Computers: Do they make life better or worse? Why?
As with everything there is a give and take to things, Computers are both good and bad, good in that they allow us to do so much more, to communicate across vast distances and create worlds of wonder. Bad in that they allow others easier access to personal information. Also with the advent of things like paper, books, computers and other storage devices have affected the human brain's capacity to remember and function and I'm not sure we as a species are better for it.

Moving on to the events of the day at hand or at the very least the morning post:

Yesterday I got the film developed from the Change of Command ceremony this past weekend and I'm sad to say that some of the pics didn't come out due to poor lighting, I'll remember to use color film next time in the bubble dome. I am glad to report that my good friend's Clay and Suzannah that crazy cute couple have finished moving into their new Ikea furnished apartment, it's like some great artists dream. my other good friend Grace has almost finished moving into her new apartment. I hear things are going well.

Last night when I got home I decided to spend some quality time with mi familia and my little brother, who incidently is not so little, he being about an inch taller than me, or maybe it's the boots he's always wearing...hmm...I know he's got me on weight, but I can take him with my years of experience and skill. We just gung out and goofed off until he had to go to work, he works nights and I work days so we hardly get to see each other. We had dinner with the family and I helped cook, incidently I love cooking. Afterwards we just sat and talked. I was feeling the lure of my favorite coffee house and friends, but I was feeling a bit lethargic and just couldn't seem to get up to go there. perhaps what I need is a change for a little while, it's kind of hard to sit there when all your friends are hooking up and you're still flying solo, I don't begrudge my friends happiness, I'm just tired of dwelling in my loneliness, you see my face and I'm smiling and laughing but thats just to cover the truth inside even then I'm not sure if what lies beneath the surface is the truth or not. I've gotten so good at masking my feelings and lying to myself that sometimes I don't know what the truth is. However; it was a good night spent with my family and later alone with my thoughts.

Now on a lighter note: http://www.showyourfriends.com/pictures.php. Gotta run people, there's work to be done!

Monday bloody Monday, if you're in it to win it and want a good laugh go here

This past weekend was interesting to say the least, I hung out with the Houston Texans at their practice facility, participated in a division change of command ceremony as a guard, fried in my own juices in full battle dress uniform the evidence of which is still marked in the crazy tan on my head, almost got ran over several times. took some pictures, hung out with some crazy kids. Another excellent time was had at Starbucks with everyone, though Saturday I was feeling the heat from working outside all day and the absence of friends was felt deeply, a few of my friends have started a band and I realize it's going to take them away from me for awhile, but I'm just a selfish not-so-little guy and I'm happy for their opportunity more than happy ecstatic even. I'll just have to learn to live without them as I realize when I have things to do they have to learn to live without me.

So I have things to deal with as usual, plans are in motion and things will start to occur. I'm patiently awaiting the return of someone newly close to me, I wasn't looking for something to happen, but everything seemed to fall into place, we just began talking one day and that day turned into several where we have begun to get to know each other and though we've only been on one official date it was a good one and the memory has lasted, it still brings a smile to my face.

Other plans such as my preparation to return to Austin are in motion. I have phone calls to make and apartments to check on, job searches to do and college classes to prepare for. ah, life is grand. talk to me people!

Today's Friday Five seems a bit deep and personal:
1. When was the last time you cheated? I've never cheated on a relationship, though I have been known to cheat at cards.
2. When was the last time you stole? yesterday
3. When was the last time you lied? I don't remember, the truth is so much more fun to mess with.
4. When was the last time you broke or vandalized another's property? This morning, I spit on the Houston Texans Turf. Some sort of special million dollar grass, whatever that grass is my tax dollars not at work.
5. When was the last time you hurt a loved one? I think I may have hurt my Mom's feelings the other day, it's just so hard to tell, she's a big drama queen and uses emotion to get what she wants. my family exemplifies the word dysfunctional.

Today has been interesting, I'm involved in this huge change of command ceremony, I'm on guard detail, which is being held at the Houston Texans Practice field, there were several players in residence when we made our rounds and it was interesting to meet Mr. Mcnair. the day was long after that, A Storm blew in and shook the roof and tore some tiles loose flinging them through the parking lot into cars, crazy stuff I tell ya. it looks like tomorrows going to be a busy one here at work too, I hope I get off in time to see Clouseaux tomorrow night at Helios.

it's time to get off work, so I'm headed out of here. Call me if ya need me!

It's Thursday in the big City, and I'm always planning for a trip that may never come whether overseas with STA Travel or locally with the Adventure bus at Adventure planet, who knows?
I need to get back to work aka reality...
more to come later in the day!

in fact here it is:

Invitation to join Friendster from Hugh Melrose
From: imortalrooster@collegeclub.com
To: Everyone!
Body: Hugh Melrose has invited you to join Hugh's personal and private community at Friendster, where you and Hugh can network with each
other's friends.

Friendster is an online community that connects people through networks of friends for dating or making new friends.

Friendster is for people who are single, people in relationships, and anyone who wants to make new friends or help their friends meet new people.

You can use Friendster to:
* Meet new people to date, through your friends and their friends
* Make new friends
* Help your friends meet new people

Once you join Friendster, you will be automatically connected to your friend Hugh, and all of Hugh's friends.

Click below to join Friendster:
http://www.friendster.com/join.jsp?invite=1056006


Oh man, A Ramen noodle and Red Bull lunch is not a healthy one, someone save me from this debacle of culinary disaster... screw work I'm going home.

Last night was a night well spent with Clay, Zach, Alicia, Anita and Suzannah at Starbuck's playing chess, expounding on life, talking in odd accents and generally crossing the line.

It was good to get my mind off things for a while, there is so much I don't think I can talk about. Simple things, complex things and just things. Things are so up in the air with my life right now it's hard to make the plans I want to make. I think I have a way to get into college at UT-Austin through the ConAP. I'll just have to wait until the spring semester, we'll see what will be, will be. I've got to get to work so I'll post more later!

This or That for July 15: Summer Re-run! This is a repeat of the very first T-or-T, The Cartoon Edition!

1. Bugs Bunny or Daffy Duck? Bugs
2. Tom or Jerry? Jerry
3. Mickey Mouse or Donald Duck? Donald
4. Rocky & Bullwinkle or Boris & Natasha? R&B
5. Road Runner or Wile E. Coyote? Road Runner
6. Sylvester or Tweety? Tweety
7. Popeye or Bluto? Popeye
8. South Park or The Simpsons? The Simpsons
9. Jetsons or Flintstones? tough one, but Judy Jetson will win in the end.
10. And finally, the eternal question asked by all good Scooby-Doo fans: Velma or Daphne? Daphne's a hottie, but I've always gone for the intellectual type and I bet Velma's a little vixen under that sweater.

So yours truly is back in town.
Clouseaux & Three Fantastic!this Saturday the 19th.
@ Helios, 411 Westheimer (713-526-4648 )
see ya there!

*NEWS FLASH!!* My Finals are completed!!! WOO HOO, now I just need to prepare for my trip...

Tyson, Nicki, Adam and Haitham, friends scattered to the winds, You are all missed.

In other news I ran into someone I've been wanting to talk to for awhile this past weekend, it was awkward, but it's a start, hopefully a misunderstanding will be soon resolved and things will progress. It's hard to let someone into your life and then have them leave. It will take time, but I'm willing to wait.

Interesting events will be unfolding in the next few days, I'm not sure if I'll have time to post, but I'll say it here right now anyway. I'm leaving for a bit, heading out into the wide world. Don't worry though. I'll be back.

Don't forget to check out the latest mirror project

Todays July 8 This or ThatTitled: Summer Potpourri

1. Strawberries or blueberries? blueberries, but strawberry jelly and shakes are great!
2. "Legally Blonde 2" or "Terminator 3"? haven't seen either, yet
3. Hamburgers or hot dogs? Hamburgers every time
4. Boating or hiking? Hiking
5. Suntan lotion or sunblock? block
6. "Big Brother" or "The Amazing Race"? hands down the amazing race
7. Beach Boys or Jimmy Buffett? both
8. Grow your own produce or buy from supermarket/greengrocer/farm stand? buy
9. Drive with car windows/top down, or with air-conditioning on? windows down
10. Go away for vacation, or stay at home? away for vacation that's what it's for right?

Last weeks Friday Five, late but up:
1. What were your favorite childhood stories?
King Arthur and the knights of the round table
2. What books from your childhood would you like to share with [your] children?
all of them...
3. Have you re-read any of those childhood stories and been surprised by anything?
I recently reread some Dr. Seuss and the Tao of Pooh to bring me back down to unreality
4. How old were you when you first learned to read?
I think I learned to read before I learned to crawl and I haven't stopped since
5. Do you remember the first 'grown-up' book you read? How old were you?
6 or 7 I started in on reading hardcore at an early age... I know I'm such a nerd...

speaking of being nerdy, just when we all thought the Cartoon Network had the market on everything zany, imaginative and illustrative, here comes a site that breaks us free from the Hanna-Barbera chains of love. Now you can be your very own cartoonist with cartoonster.com. (Although we can't guarantee top-notch replications of crazy sounds, swirling bundles of fleeing-the-scene dust and mail-order ACME products.) This site provides the basics for kids and young adults to learn a downright zippy trade. Even if you have no interest in drawing or animation, take a spin —- we guarantee that you'll look at animation in a different light.

My friend, Haitham has gone on a vacation to Jordan over this past weekend, he'll be gone for a month and when returning he'll be in the process of moving to sunny Puerto Rico approximately two minutes from the beach( how's that for editing? ) and yet he has not left our thoughts, he is constantly in our conversations, we communicate as we can via the power of the networks and the internet, if you're reading this my friend, half a world away, know that you are missed and loved. Incidently, my friend Haitham has a friend named Robert, who threw him a 4th of July / Going away party, this friend just happened to be Robert Reid who used to play for the Rockets! That was way cool.

Recently I've been reading some articles concerning Non-Local Communication (NLC) and we all know that a little knowledge is dangerous, especially in my hands. NLC is the apparent communication of molecules and atoms across vast amounts of space regardless of time and space. Thus, one group of atoms may form a helix pattern, while, at practically the same time, millions of light-years away, another group of atoms is doing the exact same pattern.

On a more humanistic level, NLC is that strange "coincidence" that we often experience when two people say something at the same time, or when you think of a song and it just happens to be the next song played on the radio.

Many scientists feel that these incidences occur far too often to be mere coincidence and believe that their is some sub-atomic communication going on. The further claim, which I have seen, is that scientists, via NLC, are explaining the miracles of God (if you believe); thus, they are explaining away God in favor of science.

The reasoning here is that anything which we can not explain through science has always been attributed to God or magic. Even gravity is a miracle, as we can test it and see its effects everyday, but gravity is completely inexplicable.

My question, then, is are we slowly explaining the miracles scientifically, such that there is no God, or are we simply looking at the scientific repercussions of God's work? i.e. Did we evolve simply, or was evolution part of God's plan all along?

Secondly, if NLC works, which it seems to, what are the untapped resources out there for us to use? Maybe prayer is simply a primitive form of NLC. Maybe using magic and casting circles to gather "will" are also primitive forms of NLC. If we can harness this power, like we harness the power of electricity or fire, what will be possible in the future?

Today is the day of today, ha! I won't be posting much in the next few days because of the Holiday, Happy July 4th by the way!, I also have a paper to write that is due in the next few hours and a class presentation to do also in a couple of hours. I love SCHOOL!! seriously, the collegiate system is a beautiful way to work out your brain... I just wish I had more time to devote to it.

Have a great Independence Day!

I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; because a might-have-been has never been but a has-been was once an are. Oh and by the way, Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings... they did it by killing all those who opposed them...

----------------------------------------
I come to a
crossroads
with a sign
but both roads
are called
Life.
-Acrewts

This-or-That Tuesday July 1, 2003: Summer Fun!
The subject of todays this or that is "Summer Fun!"

1. Lemonade or Ice Cold Beer? it all really depends on the event, I don't drink alchohol a lot though, not that I don't like it, it's just not my first inclination.
2. Swimming pool or beach? there is so much more to do at a beach than at a swimming pool
3. Long weekends here & there, or a 2-week vacation? Yes
4. Destination: Acapulco or Hawaii?
5. Destination: Mountains or Beach? Both, especially if you're in Japan, Hawaii, Costa Rica, or the northern coast of California
6. Hotel/motel/B&B or camping? Camping rules, but getting cozy in a motel is good too
7. Carefully planned vacation, or play it by ear? both, plan for it and then go and experience it
8. Sneakers or sandals? sneakers
9. Air-conditioning or fans? A/C is one of the most beautiful inventions that has ever been made
10. Concerts in the park or baseball games? both, I'm an equal opportunity kind of guy.


have you ever noticed that an elevator is yet another box within a box designed to take you to a box?

this morning I had the opportunity to take part in the army physical fitness test and now my body is so shredded... I'm glad to say that I passed it, at the minor expense of my health for the next several days. I workout daily, but on Test days I always take a little something extra to get me going, this morning consisted of about 3 redbulls, a bananna and a cliff bar, my heart was ramming against my ribcage and then I started on the test... right now my heartrate is still jumping, my right half of my head is simply pain, my legs are on fire and my arms are barely able to allow me to type this and my abdomen is cramping up, I'm trying to get water into my system, but I gotta do it slow...need to take my time to rebuild, oh wait, I've got to work today, no rest for the weary, just a shower and a quick change then it's high ho high ho off to work I go...fun fun fun for everyone!

In other news this weekend was great. I was able to have so much fun with my friends that I only partially got my homework done for class tonight, hooray, gonna cram all I can in the few minutes before class begins tonight, come up with something brilliant like I always do. My truck is still making funny noises, I just had the brakes worked on last Monday. I'm not liking the idea that I may have to spend more money on it to get it working right.

In other news I may be purchasing a Jeep Cherokee Sport soon, though I still have to view it and get it checked out. I also recently retrieved a book of writing of mine from my friend Clay and Suzannah, they're moving so I wanted to get it before they make the move, even though it's local things still have a habit of disappearing.

After today, I have 11 days and then I'm on a plane, this past weekend my good friend Adam Giralba moved with his family to Washington D.C., you will be missed, Also in a few more days my good friend Haitham will be going to Jordan for a month or so and then back for a couple of weeks before venturing over to Puerto Rico to live and help run his father's business. He is new to the group and will be missed as much. I don't know when I'll be able to return, the life of a soldier is not his own, he goes where the decisions of others send him. My good friend Tim from Austin was accepted into a Music School in New York and will be leaving soon, Alex and Juibo also are moving I hear, so many friends all scattering to the winds...

*sigh* time to get back to work

I have discovered a new obsession: http://www.youmustchoose.com/ and all I can say is...kittens are yummy...

~ RIVER OAKS MIDNIGHT SERIES ~
June 27 & 28 - SPIKE & MIKE'S SICK & TWISTED FESTIVAL OF ANIMATION
June 27 & 28 - PRETTY IN PINK
July 4 & 5 - PEE WEE'S BIG ADVENTURE
July 11 & 12 - PINK FLOYD: THE WALL
July 18 & 19 - GHOST IN THE SHELL
July 25 & 26 - FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS
August 1 & 2 - THE GOONIES
August 8 & 9 - WILD AT HEART
August 15 & 16 - MAD MAX
August 22 & 23 - THE PRINCESS BRIDE

I am so there!, btw I stole this list from Alicia,

In other news my circle of friends continues to grow, to the inclusion of three count them three new personages in my life, I love how coffee houses tend to bring people together who would not normally have met under other circumstances, Welcome to my life, dysfunctional as it is, everyone say hello to: Leslie, Jamie and Jason, all three additional writers/musicians. exxxxcellent smithers...more guinea pigs for the fire...heh heh....BTW Discussions turned to music and I had to bring up one of my personal favorites, Mr Oizo and Flat eric, if you don't know, then your totally missing out, go search for them now and download everything you can... life is beautiful as my friend Haitham says...

it's Friday so it's time for the Friday Five

1. How are you planning to spend the summer [winter]? Currently I'm working 24/7 for the U.S. Army and heading to college at night, if I've got some free time it's always spent with friends at a local Starbucks, that crazy little coffeehouse that's taking over the world.

2. What was your first summer job? I used to be a summer camp counselor, that was so much fun, living out of a tent for 3 months, teaching the skills that were taught to me to a younger generation, that was the greatest.

3. If you could go anywhere this summer [winter], where would you go? for the summer I would love to go on an ultimate road trip across the entire US or at least most of it, that would be tons of fun, especially if I could go with some great friends

4. What was your worst vacation ever? I don't know if I've ever had a bad vacation

5. What was your best vacation ever? there are aspects of all of them that bring smiles to my face, roadtrips to nowhere, colorado and kansas, dallas to visit family, a week once spent in San Antonio, New York during the spring time, tons of places just fill my mind with memories...

This is a great friday five, very thought provoking and memory resurfacing, I like this, you should try it out sometime too, all you need to do is go here Today feels like it's going to be a great day, I'm heading out into it in a bit, I can't stop this sunny feeling in my heart... err something like that, Ha! later!

if you take nothing from this blog take this: http://www.badsamaritan.com/ and read it!

Now for something totally different...

I want to run away like
I don't want to be here
be on my own
all over alone
again but
the madness is too sweet...

Being in love is hard to do when you've always avoided it, always avoided the madness. It seems so hard to make a relationship work and easier to just let go. But then there's always the perks that keep you hanging on.

Attempted to post this yesterday, but blogger was acting crazy...

June 24th's This or That Tuesday Questions: Everybody's Gone Surfin'!
1. Surf sites at random, or have a set list of regular reads? Honestly I tend to do both, though I do have a list of regular reads,
2. Do you visit mostly blogs, or news or other sites? I like the reality of the blogs, but I gotta have my email and games
3. Do you go online every day, or just a couple of days a week? Everyday if possible, gotta keep the people informed
4. Do you allow comments on your blog, or not? I do now, I had some problems in the past with posting, but that’s all fixed now.
5. Do you shop online at all, or at regular stores? If I see something interesting or that I can’t find anywhere else then I’ll buy online, but mostly I like to see what I want before I buy
6. Have you ever done online bill-paying/banking, or not? Not yet, but I have thought about it.
7. Which news site do you prefer... MSNBC.com or CNN.com? Or do you prefer some other one? I prefer the Onion, because you can only take so much reality bent before yours goes as well
8. Live chat rooms, or message boards? Both, once again, gotta keep the people informed
9. Instant messaging or e-mail? Email mainly, AIM and Yahoo IM when I can get on to check it
10. Yes or no: have you ever met, or at least talked on the phone with, another blogger? If not, would you want to? Why or why not? Of course, some of my best friends are bloggers, or livejournal’ers, heck even a few deadjournals are in the mix, then there are the select few who’ve written their own code. I’ve got this great online/offline group of friends, you guys and gals rock the rock!

"And He shall judge among the nations, and shall rebuke many people: and they shall beat their swords into plowshares, and their spears into pruning hooks: nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war any more." -Isaiah, Isaiah 2:4

it's wonderful to dream isn't it?

"In words as fashions the same rule will hold,
Alike fantastic if too new or old:
Be not the first by whome the new are tried,
Nor yet the last to lay the old aside."
-Alexander Pope, Essay On Criticism, An

"Far or forgot to me is near;
Shadow and sunlight are the same;
The vanished gods to me appear;
And one to me are shame and fame.
They reckon ill who leave me out;
When me they fly, I am the wings;
I am the doubter and the doubt,
And I the hymn the Brahmin sings."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson, Brahma

"The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep
And miles to go before I sleep."
-Robert Frost, Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening

"I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I --
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."
-Robert Frost, Road Not Taken, The

We as a people have a long way to go, but in the end, perhaps we will be able to be able to live together, the journey is long and if what we do now has an effect on the future then we must do all we can and make a difference...

Today is my birthday, dudunnnaduduDah! yeah it's your birthday too!

This weekend was great, I was able to spend it with almost all of my friends and I saw someone I'd wanted to see for a long time, we kind of passed in the daylight, like two ships, but it was good to see them.

Interestingly enough my morning of my birthday didn't go so well. While driving to work on freeway at my usual fast as fast can be speed I was astonished when what should occur to me, but my breaks went out, went wild and free. So to my offramp I drove at an unstoppable speed right off to the side where I only could proceed up around down and in to the parking lot of the local burger king, by that time I thought my truck might slow down when upcoming to me was a steep drop to the ground, so out I flew to apply what I could the strength of one man pitted against my trucks hood. I pushed and I shoved and dug in my heels, all I could do was to slow spinning wheels, I tried what I could, I did what I might and it wasn't until I came to the edge that my vehicle stopped inside creating a wedge in the left front fender of a local cop car. I heaved a sigh of near startled relief for my truck I had stopped only to incure more grief, for the vehicle I had struck in this parking lot, was owned and operated by a UT cop. understanding he was with my sad little tail, my expired insurance and lack drivers license detail, no ticket forthcoming just paperwork needed, and after a supervisor and multiple others arrived, switched out his car and proceeded to drive. I was on my way to work I know, but without my breaks there was nowhere to go. so I phoned my job understanding they were and we hobknobbed a reason and a course a tow truck was in order, of course. towed to the northside of houston I was, where I had a contact at a local brake service dealer and my truck went up as I sat down, after a few hours I realized what a clown that today is my birthday, the perfect day for something like this to happen...it's practically a classic..

it's Saturday and I'm at school...what's up with that? Oh yeah I have a research paper to do...

I'm registering at blogshares and at blogchalk

This is my new blogchalk:
United States, texas, houston, English, Hugh, Male, 26-30, writing, mountain biking. :)

you'll have to scroll all the way down to the bottom to view the actual image of the blog chalk.

did you know you can email the president? go to www.whitehouse.gov and click on the links there for contact. I've sent him several emails and have yet to get a response.
whatever happened to the right of redress or whatever it is when you ask a politician a question and they have to respond...

The Friday Five for Jun 20, 2003, Some of you have asked me how this works, where I come up with the questions and whatnot, You simply go to the site and answer the following five questions in your weblog or journal. Make sure you leave a comment there with a link to your post (or just leave your answers in the comments section).

1. Is your hair naturally curly, wavy, or straight? Long or short?
short, thin fine straight hair
2. How has your hair changed over your lifetime?
I've mostly had it cut short, but for the awhile I had long past shoulder length hair and for awhile I was bald.
3. How do your normally wear your hair?
short on the sides, blocked in the back, faded up to the top, which I keep a bit longer and parted on the left side.
4. If you could change your hair this minute, what would it look like?
I've thought of changing the color, to something totally different from my normal brown, I though I might go dark black.
5. Ever had a hair disaster? What happened?
When I let my hair grow long I didn't take care of it and it was nasty, also my hair is thin and fine so it doesn't hold hairspray or gel very well and when the wind catches it, well you guessed it, my hair is everywhere.

you know that wasn't a very exciting Friday Five come to think of it.

to make this post just a little bit more exciting, http://www.bradcollins.org/

testing haloscan comments tool... hmm...where are my comments?

"Take away paradox from the thinker and you have a professor." -Søren Kierkegaard

A professor or teacher must teach from a set of rules regarding the subject at hand, at least that's my interpretation of the qoute. what's yours?

"Society has always seemed to demand a little more from human beings than it will get in practice." -George Orwell, A Collection of Essays

this is both good and bad in a sense that we are human and as such we will always have something to strive for and something to do, but unfortunately we'll never achieve all we have to as a species, there will always be something negative going on.

You know what? In recent months a friend called me intrepid, I have a big heart and just tonight a friend described me as 'too sincere'. That may be true. But I like being me and how it makes me feel and the precise ways it gets me into trouble. I'm funny ( at least I laugh at my jokes ) and smart, and sane though others might think otherwise (these things can be verified). Also, I don't mind being wrong and, considering I am so pretentious, I admit that often.

I am determined to finally go skydiving again this year. Please go with me.

Also (important!): Too many people think Monster Truck events are silly. I like them because of that.

"I woke up one day..."
So now I try to look at the small beauties around me everyday.
Things people pass by and take for granted.
I find beauty in a piece of glass in a mud puddle,
a cat perched on a fence,
idly watching the world go by
the laughter in a good friends smile, etc.
I believe very few people can see
the true beauty in things
and I strive to be one of those people
with eyes wide open
I enjoy: lounging outside,
mountain biking, getting sweaty on a hot day,
then a cold dip in the lake
introducing myself to random people,
going to museums and plays,
concerts and midnight movies,
snowboarding and skiing,
writing and reading,
staying up late
to have long, intense conversations, etc, etc.
all because...
" I woke up one day, afraid I was going to live."

Someone sent me this and so I'm passing it on:

In light of the many perversions and jokes we send to one another for a
laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke, it's
not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.

Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson
asked her "How could God let something like this happen?" (regarding the
attacks on Sept. 11).

Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said "I
believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've
been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and
to get out of our lives.

And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can
we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He
leave us alone?"

In light of recent events...terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I
think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body
found recently) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we
said OK.

Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school ... the Bible says
thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as
yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they
misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might
damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an
expert should know what he's talking about. And we said OK.

Then someone said teachers and principals better not discipline our children
when they misbehave. The school administrators said no faculty member in
this school better touch a student when they misbehave because we don't want
any bad publicity, and we surely don't want to be sued (there's a big
difference between disciplining, touching, beating, smacking, humiliating,
kicking, etc.). And we said OK.

Then someone said, let's let our daughters have abortions if they want, and
they won't even have to tell their parents. And we said OK.

Then some wise school board member said, since boys will be boys and they're
going to do it anyway, let's give our sons all the condoms they want so they
can have all the fun they desire, and we won't have to tell their parents
they got them at school. And we said OK.

Then some of our top elected officials said it doesn't matter what we do in
private as long as we do our jobs. Agreeing with them, we said it doesn't
matter to me what anyone, including the President, does in private as long
as I have a job and the economy is good.

Then someone said let's print magazines with pictures of nude women and call
it wholesome, down-to-earth appreciation for the beauty of the female body.
And we said OK.

And then someone else took that appreciation a step further and published
pictures of nude children and then further again by making them available on
the Internet. And we said OK, they're entitled to free speech.

Then the entertainment industry said, let's make TV shows and movies that
promote profanity, violence, and illicit sex. Let's record music that
encourages rape, drugs, murder, suicide, and satanic themes. And we said
it's just entertainment, it has no adverse effect, nobody takes it seriously
anyway, so go right ahead.

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they
don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill
strangers, their classmates, and themselves.

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I
think it has a great deal to do with "WE REAP WHAT WE SOW."

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the
world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but
question what the Bible says.

Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire
but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice
about sharing.

Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through
cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and
workplace.

Are you laughing?

Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on
your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they
WILL think of you for sending it. Funny how we can be more worried about
what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.

Pass it on if you think it has merit. If not then just discard it... no one
will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back
and complain about what bad shape the world is in!

today is blah...

So the artist wants to see his painting. hmmm i don't havea picture on me right now.but to answer you this. am I a reverse paradox or very interesting?
very interesting is open to interpretation, we each view the same work of art differently, some may see a dull and lifeless basket of fruit while other's a starry night...

a paradox reversed, something out of it's time brought back into it's reality, what is this truth you seek? One exhibiting inexplicable or contradictory aspects such as: “The silence of midnight, to speak truly, though apparently a paradox, rung in my ears” (Mary Shelley). An assertion that is essentially self-contradictory, though based on a valid deduction from acceptable premises. The reversal of such would mean that the assertation is complimentary, based on invalid deductions from unacceptable premises...

I am who I am and I am not who I am, nor am I who I was, yet I don't know what moment will bring the next installment of me. So I simply am and I am not.

Who are you?
what makes you, you?
what do you do?
where do you like to go?

I write, I draw ( if you can call it that ) and sometimes I paint. I also like to get out in the world and get a little muddy now and then, or sit in front of the computer for hours. most of the time you'll find me at a local coffee shop...

Sometimes I'm way too serious and others completely opposite...

what next?

So what is art to you?
art... is nothing. its capturing a moment in the way you see it. as abstract as that probably makes you
art is also everything, everything that happens in the mind and the world around us... art is beauty and tragedy and all that lies within and without.
As for me being abstract, I like the sound of that...

Question: If you are driving a car at the speed of light and you turn on your headlights...do they do anything?

"Enjoy life. There's plenty of time to be dead."

Caffeine is a beautiful thing, don't ya think? I know I do and as I say this I have a can of Red Bull chilled to just the right temperature at my hands. I can't wait to feel it's mental boosting enthusiasm reach deep into me. aww sweet caffeine...Yesterday it was the new Mountain Dew drink which went down real smooth, but I didn't feel the effects. most nights it's Iced Tea from Starbucks, and after about 6 cups of that, I'm a deadly opponent at chess. It seems I exist in a perpetual mental state of calm and I need something to get my faculties jumping, this unfortunately has the side effect of causing me to lose a lot of sleep, however, I counteract this with more caffeine and then I sleep all weekend long, unless I have something to do, which is almost always. So I wind up burning the candle at both ends and in the middle...but I can't stop I have so much to do and so many obligations to attend to and so little time to do it all in... but don't worry about me, I have my good friend caffeine here with me and I can sleep when I'm dead...right now I don't have time for that...

TheFriday Five on Tuesday?! What's the world coming to?

1. What's one thing you've always wanted to do, but never have?
- travel the world
2. When someone asks your opinion about a new haircut/outfit/etc, are you always honest?
- hell yeah!
3. Have you ever found out something about a friend and then wished you hadn't? What happened?
- yes, it was awkward at first, but then we learned that we were still the same people.
4. If you could live in any fictional world (from a book/movie/game/etc.) which would it be and why?
- wow, this is a tough one, it would have to be something medieval
5. What's one talent/skill you don't have but always wanted?
- this one is tough as well, there are so many choices that can be made, I'll have to think on this and repost later.

and while I'm at it, I might as well do the This-or-That Tuesday

June 17: Reading
1. Newspapers or magazines?
- Magazines
2. Books-on-tape or regular books?
- regular books
3. Paperback or hardcover?
both, depends on what's available...
4. Fiction or non-fiction?
once again, both
5. Sci-Fi/Fantasy or romance novels?
Sci-Fi/Fantasy
6. Borrow from library or buy books (either new or used)?
buy, both new and used
7. Subscribe to magazines or buy on newsstand?
buy on the newstand
8. Current best-sellers or classic literature?
both
9. Read books once, or re-read favorites every so often?
re-read like crazy
10. Here in the U.S., we have two hot best-sellers...former First Lady Hillary Clinton's memoirs, and the new Harry Potter book (coming out June 21). If you had to read one, which one...Hillary or Harry? Why?
neither

I steadfastly maintain (as I always have) that North American government is a commerciocracy, a term I use to denote governments who cater exclusively to big business or lobby and mold their legislative agenda to suit it. It is 'government by corporation' as opposed to the ideal of "government by the people for the people". Even the opposition parties, such as the so called liberal party, are studying the Machiavellian handbook in terms of how they jockey for political popularity through the use of misquoted statistics, bold-faced libel and voluminous financial support from powerful right wing religious and social lobby groups.It's too bad that the back-room gerrymandering and palm-scratching is commonplace in other countries as well, we'd be able to get a lot more done if we all worked toward a common goal. Too bad people always think in the "I" mode and not in the "We". I hope that, as word of these scandals and misdeeds is intensified, the average Joe and Josephine reads more between the lines and educates themselves on how to promote a proper government, "by the people, for the people."

We came together to form a more perfect union as a people, so that all persons could live together in peace and prosperity, with the pursuit of happiness foremost in our openminded culture... what went wrong?

"I realize that patriotism is not enough. I must have no hatred or bitterness towards anyone."
-Edith Cavell, Last words, October 12, 1915

"Needles in skin"

Stabbing safety pins
through thin muscle tissue
watching the bubble and pop
of old blisters
with a certain grim fascination
an obession with recession
He's waiting for my speech
standing up there with a hole for a tongue
blood dripping on the microphone
eyes gouged out and fed to the dogs
Nails in my feet
Keeping me in place
atrophy room
sagging slack bronze
flying awol over a desert not his own
a flaccid office
impotently important
venting his frustration on the people of the east
caught in the middle
crammed between padded polls and public idiocy
hail to the theif


"I see blood, everywhere"

life is a story of perseverance, I highly reccomend it.

"Do not go gentle into that good night."
-Dylan Thomas, "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night"

new words for your so called vocabulary...

yummmyfrickenliciously

screwbaly

outfrickenstanding

"I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I --
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."
-Robert Frost, Road Not Taken, The

lost in the woods? go find yourself here

Sometimes I feel lost...

"Take this kiss upon the brow! And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow--
You are not wrong who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream."
-Edgar Allan Poe, Dream Within A Dream, A

Poe Rocks the rock! Do you feel that life is a dream and if so are we only living the dream within a dream. What happens when we wake up?

apparantly this is my Horoscope (by Astrocenter.com)

If it were up to you, you would rather stay in bed reading than affront the cold world we live in. Deep inside, however, you know you need to socialize. You feel that you cannot be left out of society. But have you ever thought about finding someone who shares your tastes? You could read in bed with someone else and still have a lot of contacts!

and my Male romancescope (by Astrocenter.com)
Exercise and nutrition programs seem to be paying off for you now. You're feeling better than you have in a long time, and your lover notices and appreciates that! If you've been exercising together, you might notice a definite change for the better in your friend as well. The planetary alignment indicates, however, that this isn't the time to slow down. If anything, intensify your efforts! Remember, good health enhances romance!

whatever all this means is whatever...know what I mean? like it's all well and good for a horoscope to say something like I should find someone who shares my same tastes, but how do you go about that when you keep looking in the same place? I'd love to have someone to share my interests with and there are some whom I am interested in, I just don't move fast, I like to take my time and get to know the person...blah blah blah and a lot of times it comes down to the point where I've taken too much time and the opportunity passes me by or the other person begins to think of me as more of a friend than possible romance material. I'm not upset by any of this I love having more friends to hang with, but every now and then I want just one to hang with...if you understand let me know.

So I've been ripping my brain apart trying to write this paper for class, and I finally have it done, now I only have ten minutes to get to class....woohoo!!

Someone at The Onion thinks they're funny...

"A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him." -Brendan Francis
This is so true, haha

"Teachers open the door, but you must enter by yourself." -Chinese Proverb

Here's your Door for the Day

Good Morning Houston! it's June 10th, Tuesday and time for another This or That: TV Shows/Movies
1. "The Munsters" or "The Addams Family"?
In my head both shows are blending together, did they ever do a crossover?
2. "The Sopranos" or the "Godfather" movies?
I've only seen a few of the Sopranos, but all of the Godfather series equals qoutable life
3. "The Jetsons" or "Lost in Space"?
I'm lost in space with the jetsons, that Judy ooh she's an interstellar hottie...haha
4. "Superman" or "Batman" (either the TV shows or the movies)?
once again the questions are pitting two classics against each other... errrgh it's so hard to choose just one..
5. "Sex & The City" or "Friends"?
Friends all the way
6. "The Wizard of Oz" or the "Harry Potter" movies?
Both are good stories, though Oz is a classic
7. "The Simpsons" or "King of the Hill"?
The Simpsons have been losing touch, but are still a classic, King of the Hill is good for a few laughs
8. "Grease" or "Saturday Night Fever"?
Grease...
I don't watch a lot of TV lately, I've just got a lot of other things going on with college, work and an active social life...or the near semblance thereof...
9. Old prime-time soaps: "Dallas" or "Dynasty"?
never watched any of these, but I know who shot JR
10. Not very thought-provoking this week...do you prefer TV shows or movies?
It all depends on the stories, sometimes I like them short like a movie or long like a TV series...

For some reason I can only get to the Friday Five's on Monday lately...bear with me...this one's a doozy

1. How many times have you truly been in love?
To be honest I don't know, you see when I'm with someone and I feel that I love them everything is great and wonderful, though there are moments in every relationship that are less than stellar. After being out of the relationship and away from the person for awhile, feelings change and life goes on...
2. What was/is so great about the person you love(d) the most?
I loved the way she laughed, the way we could talk about nothing and everything...it was great
3. What qualities should a significant other have?
the ability to compromise when it counts and good communication skills
4. Have you ever broken someone's heart?
yes, unfortunately I've done a few things that I'm not proud of...
5. If there was one thing you could teach people about love, what would it be?
communication is essential to any relationship, communicate well and often..

Now that all that mess in my head is stirred up, I'm off to class.

It's Monday again and the weekend was excellent, I'd like to extend a warm welcome to reuters news on my list of links. Now I have to go and finish writing my paper for class...later!

woohoo mad plans are made for Tuesday night mayhem! and in other unrelated news I emailed the President and Vice President, and I have an meeting scheduled for Wednesday with the University of Texas Admissions office here in Houston, Texas. just wait and see how far I get this time...

North American public education topic a return

I have to agree with most of the responses I've received - that no real reforms in the educational, or any other major system will be made under the leadership of one president.

One of the many reasons for this is that every president comes in with a new plan and a new idea to approach the problem. Just look at how every President deals with taxes, the national deficit, and other programs. The programs are constantly changing.

Our governnment was set up in such a manner that it usually sits in a state of stagnation. I think this was the intention of the Founding Fathers, as they would have rather had a government that can't act on anything rather than a government that can act to over-power the people.

Additionally, I think that the responsibility of educational systems lies primarily within the states themselves - for they know where the weaknesses are. The downfall here, though, is that we see states like California cutting more and more funding from education and sending it to other programs.

I think a better plan than "No child gets left behind" would be "Teachers are Gods" or something like that. If we start treating teachers with the respect that they inherently deserve, rewarding them for their work monetarily, then we will see a chain of events. Teachers will be more likely to teach in undesireable areas for the money - more teachers will lead to an ability to accept more students - and over time more students will come.

Overall, I don't think that we, as a society, are putting enough moral emphasis on education. This needs to be a group effort and the president will have a hard time getting the majority of the country to back him on any plan.

there are not more than five musical notes, yet the combinations of these five give rise to more melodies than can ever be heard." - sun tzu "the art of war"

in other news here's a recent picture

a return to the topic of collectivism, since most of you who have emailed me want to discuss this.

I think this argument needs to return to the basic principles.

At the most basic level, the way for people to be happy is to do what makes them happy, not others. Making others happy does not guarantee your own happiness.

As is also true in a collective society, the individual should also not harm others, or there will be negative consequences, which will make him/her unhappy.

The main problem with collectivism is that it may not be apparent what is best for society. Many bad things have been done in the name of helping society, and often it may have seemed at the time that the actions would help society.

In an individualistic society, if you do what makes you happy without hurting others, you are automatically helping out yourself, and society as a whole.

Now we can argue back in forth about the corruptions and perversions of the United States, but make no mistake, an individualistic society is the best society to live in.

Remember, just because people in a society decide it is necessary to introduce socialistic aspects into a government does not mean that the society is not individualistic.

Individualism is as much a mind set as it is a form of government.

Please, if you respond to this, bring up examples, respond to the principles and generally keep doing what you've been doing. Thanks!

last night a very enlightening and revealing conversation was had... and now a goal in life changes.

My friend Grace and I had this great conversation about life and the future, what we both want out of everything, it was great. I'm glad to have a friend like her to just bounce ideas off of. My new plan is to pursue both an English and Computer Science degree, thereby gaining me a job that will make money and allow me to pursue my interests in writing. In the future I may attempt to go full time as a writer, but I want to be able to support myself and others.

And for all of you who seem to think that Grace and I are an item, let me just say that she is and will always be a good friend. So quit the muttering...lol.

What comes next you might ask? I'm currently enrolled in Summer courses, taking both Sociology and English 2, my SOC Prof is highly intelligent and has a ton of information to pour into my brain, whereas my Eng2 Prof is also highly intelligent, loves to discuss the topics and just tear through a story and in my opinion is a flamin hottie. Both love their work and are animated in the classroom and I am enjoying this immenseley. speaking of class I have homework so I must let go now, later!

something happened this day... I can't really discuss it on here. Thanks for understanding.

June 3: Animals on This-or-That Tuesday!

1. Cats or dogs? I like options of both
2. Butterflies or birds? I'm for the birds
3. Horses or cows? A horse of course
4. Turtles or snakes? ooh tough one...Turtles, the Teenage Mutant Ninja kind that is
5. Frogs or grasshoppers? Go Kermit Go!!
6. Lions or tigers? Or bears oh my...lol...Tigers
7. Elephants or mice? Depends on the mouse, is it Mickey or that hot little honey Minnie?
8. Porcupines or aardvarks? What?!? how about an aardvark, that dudes tongue must drive the ladies wild
9. Unicorns or dragons? Fear my reign of fire!! For I am the Dragon Reborn!
10. Thought-provoking question of the week: You live in a rather dumpy apartment. A friend offers you a chance to be a roommate at a new place s/he is moving into, but they don't allow pets. You have a pet. Do you find your pet a new home and take the new place, or do you keep your pet and stay put?

This is a tough one as the question really doesn't describe what kind of pet I have, or even if my friend wants to try to find something else. I'd have to withold my answer until I get more clarification.

That's it for the This-or-That Tuesday!

"I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see." - John Burroughs

But the night is filled with everybody it seems... On my way around town last night I happened to look to my left and who did I see? Alicia riding in an SUV next to me.

Also last night, was the first of many of my Summer session courses at UT-Westchase, gotta get that GPA up! Study, Study, Study!!

later all!

Recently, US President George W Bush signed the "No Child Left Behind" Act, a law aimed at improving American public education. This has inspired me to submit for your ponderance the following questions on North American public education:

-Can the legislative will of one presidential administration improve and make more efficient American public education, or is this a task which lies in the hands of several future ones (a mess that has taken a short time to make takes a lot longer to clean up)?

-Which children benefit from this legislation, and which (if any) will get the short end of the stick?

Suffice to say I shall leave it all up to you to come at it with your own opinion.

Personally, I see North American public education (Canada and the US collectively) in a state of crisis. I am seeing some alarming trends in the administration, funding and delivery of public schooling on this continent. The first of these is the notion that schools can be run like corporations, adhering to the corporate rationale that cutting costs improves production and somehow quality. How will students benefit when teaching staff, learning assistance staff and other vital school programs fall victim to the downsizing utopia?

Another perturbing trend is the over-prescription of drugs to kids with learning disabilities, my own brother is a prime example. In many cases, we have people without extensive clinical expertise in the area making this judgment call. These drugs may keep them quiet in class now, but they may also do devastating neurological or social damage later on. Studies have been coming out the last few years citing the dangers of over-prescribing Ritalin and other such medications. Although, when funding is slashed, it may be tempting to latch on to the next inticing quick fix that comes along.

And if these red flags were not enough, the retention of quality teachers is also a facet of the North American public system which lags behind. The salaries of some teachers in the United States are pitiful. For the work they do, they don't even get a sufficient fraction of compensation. Plus, with eliminations on class sizes in some jurisdictions, young teachers are having to contend with upwards of fifty to sixty kids in the course of one day. How can it not be that some children will lose out in the numbers game?

If no children are to be left behind in the most genuine sense, then President Bush and his cabinet of erstwhile advisors had better make sure that his new legislative brainchild anticipates and seeks to nip the above mini-crises among so many others in the bud.

"Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change." - Confucius

How will you change today?

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Check this site Qouteland

existentialism moment

I look at your face and
i hate you and I love you
The crass dimples in your cheeks
As well as the awful beautiful smile

And still, as I look, your mind wanders
Away from me and everything I hold of value
I stare, just for one more...
And I am tired of being second to last

Every truth, every song, every word
proves to me how disastrously ugly I am
To want you, ever, I cannot be
Ever trusted with such a ridiculous detail

From every slime that graced a neglect wall
To a bolt receded within a cloud
Daily I see the rage-ahol that I consume
Internally hollowing out my heartburn

Now, since rage is all I have to give
The Jealous Green already making me sick
Prove to me what a loser i am
And turn me away once more

I will forever see you in my heart, dear love
Even during my withering of my old bones
So I can detach my terrible heart
To feed the fishes of control

It's Friday and where oh where am I? at the local college attempting to register for summer courses, which start on Monday and apparantly everyone else in town is trying to do the same thing, so here I sit in this computer lab freely using their internet while I wait for the line to go down.

All the news about me that's so not fit to print, but I'll put it here anyway...lol.

Recently, my parents van broke down again and yours truly had to go rescue them, I found them blocking traffic right outside the precint 4 building yelling and screaming at each other, then to make matters more jerry springerish, they began to slap at each other, all the while my Dad's on crutches with this huge cast, cars are piled up for miles and there's me in uniform trying to make someone see reason, let's just say that chaos reigns still.

I said something I should not have said to someone very close to me and now that someone isn't speaking to me like they used to, everything changes when you open your heart, be warned people.

Still shopping for a new/used car/truck, getting close to making a purchase, especially now that Uncle Sam is paying me. I'm thinking Truck or small SUV, we'll see how the game is played out.

Last night I spent an enjoyable evening with friends, though with the one previously mentioned I felt relations were strained. Alas it is a loss I will regret, perhaps it can be mended in time, though now it weighs heavily on my mind. I did play several enjoyable games of Skip-Bo while there and later at Denny's with other's that seemed to last long into the morning, then excusing myself I went home and stared for awhile at the ceiling, thinking thoughts I had put aside for awhile.

I have heard rumors that I'm to be released from Active duty status in a 90 day time period, so I need to get cracken on what I'm going to do for cash and how I'm going to occupy my time, whether I will return to Austin to attempt to attend UT again or what? I don't know, I wasn't expecting this and I have what feels like a very short time to prepare for it. life is funny sometimes...very funny.

"When we blindly adopt a religion, a political system, a literary dogma, we become automatons. We cease to grow."
-Anais Nin, The Diaries of Anaïs Nin

If you have any left, what are your thoughts? What are your own views, not the mindless regurgitation of a societies mass hypnosis. I need to know that there are others out there who think, really think about the choices, actions and consequences they make. Are you blind to the world, do you really know what's going on? Or am I here simply babbling to the world gone beyond mad into that semblance of life. You automaton! Yes You, break free from your chains, set yourself loose from the machine. Alas this is all beginning to sound very matrixesque so I'm going to end this transmission with a simple request...wake up.

I have returned unto this my blog. This past week and a half that I've been gone has been filled with challenges that have been met and conquered. prepare to face my newly charged mentality.

"Beware the fury of a patient man." - John Dryden

I'm patient...

This or That Tuesday May 27 2003: Personal Habits, Quirks, Routines, etc.
1. Do you prefer silence or do you like background sound (music, TV, etc)?
- music forms the background to my life, but there are times that silence is pure and sweet
2. Bathe/shower in morning or evening?
- shower, in the morning is preferred.
3. Sleeping in complete darkness, or with a nightlight on?
- complete and total darkness, though a little light doesn't bother me, I also prefer it cool.
4. Lay out clothes the night before, or just grab what's closest in the morning?
- both, lately there hasn't been much of a choice, it's my off work wear that takes time
5. Hang up/fold clothes neatly, or just toss them wherever?
- toss em or hang em depending on how I feel
6. Work out at a gym, or at home on your own (or do you not bother with exercise)?
- we have a gym here at work, home I've got my bike and other things to keep me busy
7. Talk on the phone, or via IM/e-mail?
- I always have my cel with me, though when I'm online it's AIM or email
8. Are you usually on time, or late?
- I think I have the family ability to be at least 10 minutes late
9. Spendthrift or frugal?
- frugal lately, though cashflow tends to be the main factor.
10. Thought-Provoking Question of the Week: You work with someone who is not in the habit of bathing regularly. The smell seems to be getting worse and worse! Would you: 1. try to do something about it, or 2. try to grin and bear it? If you said 1, what would you do?
- I'd give them a bar of soap and tell them to go home for the day and not to come back till clean.

"I believe -- anything that can love has a soul. Have you ever felt love?"
"I've learned -- that it's dangerous to love. It can drive you crazy."

"Then perhaps -- that's what tears are for."

- Andromeda "The Mathematics of Tears"

I love qoutes, little pieces of everyday wisdom and insight that have the ability to encompass an entire thought. what does the above qoute mean to you? what does it mean to me? I believe I have a soul, though it is locked away at times deep inside, I believe I have the capacity to love, but due to my own dysfunctional upbringing and the many failed relationships I've been in ( I say failed due to the fact that I am no longer with said person in the relationship) I believe I have the capacity to love, but that I have been scarred to the point where I don't recognize or even know what love is. Have I ever felt love? I'd like to believe so, to have known it just once would be a godsend. I do know that it is dangerous to love, you open yourself completely holding your arms wide fearing nothing for you are truly free and that is to be forever crazy. Sometimes love is unrequited, meaning not returned and that's ok as long as you keep control over your emotions, over who you are and can remain impartial. Yet there are times that try everyone's soul and emotions can run out of control and you try to hold them so tight inside to try to keep yourself together... perhaps then that is what tears are for, to help get everything out and cleanse the soul of the pain. perhaps...when was the last time you cried?

So I wrote a ton of stuff here for a really long Friday post, but I accidently tried to edit another post and lost everything I wrote. apparantly I'm not thinking too well right now, what's up with that?

Anyway here's the meat of it before I go:

My Dad's doing well from his eye surgery this past week, however; he's going in for his Pre-op for his foot surgery on Monday of next week. The same day I'm leaving to head to the field with the troops for a week long seriously intense training session. Your's truly is giving the class on explosive ordinance, much fun will be had, can I get a BOOM! Also previously this week, yesterday in fact I had my HUMVEE / Duce and a half Driver's recertification program, HOOAH! Let's just say that I got baked a nice rosey red doing donuts in the HUMVEE and no one, I repeat NO ONE can drive that machine better than me. I've got the certificate and a freaked out instructor to prove it. Anyway it's the weekend, friends from Austin will be down and we'll be hangin...out that is...I hear there is a movie or two playing that I might just go see or maybe we'll wind up trashing and bashing the city of Houston before I have to leave early monday morning. I should be back in about a week or two, who knows. maybe longer. Memorial day weekend is coming up and I have a four day weekend just waiting to be exploited. Have a great one all, I'm gone!

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To quote Led Zepplin, “Its been a long time…”

And, like the Zep , I am still rockin….It’s just in a comfy chair, not on top of a speaker.

What do you believe in? What's the most important thing in your life right now? Have you ever taken an inward look inside yourself to figure out who you are and what you stand for? As Socrates said all those years ago, "Know thy self". Don't be a sheep that just follows the herd, know what you stand for and take a stand. As for me I believe in...

Yesterday my Dad went in for surgery, I was lucky enough to be able to see him before he went in. He was kind of groggy, but he knew I was there. I've been in enough Hospitals and under the knife so many times that I've become comfortable with everything and I don't have a problem with hospitals or with surgery, but I still find it very hard to see someone I care about in the same situation. I was glad that I was there for my Dad when he was about to go in himself, it's something he has needed to do to help himself out for the future.

Follow up:
My Dad's surgery apparantly went well, I got to see him last night. He wasn't in pain, his face was all bandaged up, but he was doing well. He's going in for a follow-up this morning to see how everything really went. Next week Dad goes in for foot surgery and sometime later he's going to have hip surgery...man this is rough. More will more than likely follow later.

Thanks for listening me babble...

Another Monday begun in earnest, I wish I could say that I awoke to the dawning, but I was up well before dawn ever showed in the sky, the skies above me were a dark murky grey, thanks to the fires down in old Mexico. Thank you Mexico for giving me daily headaches.

Yesterday was Mother's Day, did you wish your mother a Happy Mother's day? I did and woah did it backfire on me... lol, Mom has a sort of green thumb thing going, so me being the loving son that I am I bought my Mom some orchids preplanted, loah did I know that this would precipitate a trip to Home Depot to purchase a book on Orchids, special orchid food, orchid potting soil, a larger pot for the orchids and some more potting soil for the other plants my Mom has. This brought me well up to the additional costs of Mother's day to around 150, not to include the other flowers, cards, breakfast, lunch, dinner and other miscellaneous items... ah..I love me Ma! Me Ma! ah think I'll buy her a caravan, perrywinkle blue...cause it's for me ma! so it was well worth it..

more to follow later ;o)

and now it is later and this is what followed, Mother's Day was great despite the usual antics. If I didn't see you on Mother's day I did try to call, or if your reading this now then Happy Mother's Day Thank you for all your hard work and effort.

In other news my father is going in for eye surgery tomorrow, this will put him out of commission for awhile. I don't like the idea of my Dad going under the knife and I can't really express my feelings on that subject right now so I'm going to end this post. Have a great day all!

Home, sweet friggin home, or at least 200 miles from home is still closer than I have been in a long time. Ah Houston, with it's smog and hundreds of miles of concrete and asphalt, how I missed thee, not really. I got in from KC last night and despite some mishaps at the airport, a stop at Zio's Restraunt with a buddy of mine and his family, to include his wife and their two sons Andrew and Patrick, Wherein I proceeded to warp the minds of the youth of America ( one of my favorite pastimes) The boys were great, soaked it up like a sponge and by the end of the night they were calling me their new best friend, what a deal. Eventually I wound up at Starbucks where I ran into Nicki, Jill and Steve, hung out there for a bit before my ride showed up and I went to my parents home here in North Houston. All in all a good night and an excellent trip, I began to unpack my gear and somewhere in the middle of it all I passed out on the floor only waking to the sound of the telephone ringing at about 4 am , time to get up and go to work.

In other News/Thoughts: Happy Cinco De Mayo! Like we need another excuse to have a party?

Which society do you believe functions in the best interests of everyone?
---------------------
A society based on individualism (with a basic set of ground rules) or A society based on a collective group of beings, like many older civilizations (and if you want to use the example, aliens)?
This could be considered a trick question, depending on your perspective on the question. From my persective, this question could relate to capitolism vs. socialism. Capitolism is a system for the individual, holding the individual wo/man as the highest being in the system. Thus, we compete and grow, but we don't work for others, we work for ourselves. In true capitolism one would never hurt others, as this would damage the person's resources. If you kill the baker you won't have any bread tomorrow.

Socialism is based on the principle of the greatest good for the majority (all of these are various Social Contract concepts), thus all of the people are working for the good of the system and the social group as a whole.

The system based on the individual is easily the best one (or maybe I'm just a brainwashed American). We can look at systems that are group-based and see that they look like a scene from 1920's America. They use archaic machinery and there is little happiness.

The individual likes no thing more than him/herself. Thus, we, as individuals, are always going to work for things that benefit ourselves. We will compete and advance society. As in any social contract, there are groudn rules - prohibiting murder and whatnot- so we can get along in our ego-driven lives. Thus, working for the small developes the whole; working for the whole just makes us miserable.

----------------------------------

Still in KC, bout to head back to Houston in a few hours, this mission rocked the rock! field exercises and everything was up and hot, the skies here at night was wide open for what seemed like hundreds of miles, the stars were clear and bright and I just laid back on a hilltop and stared forever... ah sweet bliss. Now I have to go catch a plane and head home, where I'll end up after that, who knows!

So it's Thursday night and I'm in Kansas City, Kansas posting live to you from the road. A few days ago I left Houston, Texas and while in the airport was practically violated, had 5 things of mine confiscated by TSA and almost missed my flight, I was in Tulsa, Oklahoma and my brief stay there was uneventful at best, perhaps the most exciting thing was sharing the back 6 seats of a plane with a couple of attractive flight attendants, even though all that occurred was casual conversation, still it was an envious position to be in. Having arrived in Kansas City, Missouri I quickly grabbed the rental car, a nifty Dodge intrepid ( it's silver )and lead footed it over to the Kansas side of the city as fast as I could, Seeing as how I have business interests just to the north of the city. now I'm sitting here in the living room of my suite at the beautiful former prison administration offices that are now affectionately called the Riverside Apartments, building 427 here at lovely Fort Leavenworth, Kansas. I can't really explain what my job is here, but it's a doozy, very high profile. The Thunderstorms have been exceptionally show stopping, and the scenery/greenery around here is a welcome change from the local shrubbery around North Houston. Being near the river reminds me a lot of Austin and that brings back other memories. Yet I digress, The little town of leavenworth just outside of the Fort boasts a beautiful Downtown, including the High Noon Saloon/Brewery where I've been taking most of my meals in the evenings. It's an excellent restraunt and I reccomend it to everyone who might come here.

In other news there is a chapter of Team Army Cycling here that I'm involved with and while I haven't yet been able to contact any of the people here, I have seen them racing around post, it seems to me this post was designed for cycling. Regretfully my bike is still in storage in Spring, Texas. Due to my activation and work schedule I don't get enough time to ride anymore. Lately I've just been burnt out on everything. I meant it in my earlier posts that caffeine was the only thing keeping me alive.

where will I end up next? perhaps Houston by the fourth of May, in the evening sometime. I currently have no plans except work for Cinco De Mayo, but it could be arranged. Here's a reminder: 11 MAY 2003 equals Mother's Day. Plan accordingly.

I'm currently finishing off a half-gallon of Helfelweisen a German beer imported and sold at the High Noon Saloon, apparantly you can purchase a 64oz. bottle to go, what a restraunt. Tonights special was all you can eat ribs for 11.99 and a few plates later I was ready to proclaim these "The best ribs outside of the state of Texas." So tonight I sit here after having worked to the point of exhaustion for the past few days and I write to you oh reader of mine, to let you know what's going on in my fevered mind. FYI: I have been able to post over at Alicia's in her comments so feel free to peruse and make your own. To end I shall wish you all a goodnight and whatever makes you happy.