I rarely post anything personal here anymore, I bet you're wondering if there's a reason? yes, there is always a reason, will I go into it? I don't know...

I fell, we all fall, clinging to our lofty ideals.

I suppose it was bound to come together this way.

I don't really have anything to tell you. I'm just...I'm doing well. I have no complaints. You know me,there's always a school, or a work, or a girl. Or all
three. Though right now there just happens to be too much work and not enough school and no girl, These things catch my attention and don't let go.

I'm told pride is my vice among other things. I am prideful. Maybe it's not conciet. Maybe it's not condescention or cockiness, or convolution of thought. Maybe I'm just prideful.

Yesterday my pride got me into trouble. Anne, one of my boss's, asked me to take out the trash and mow the lawn of our apartment complex that I manage. It was the way she told me. Her voice. Not sotto voce by any means. And the fact that she never does it herself anymore, the old manager never mowed the lawn, I feel trapped.

I got angry. I was about leave. I hadn't felt good all day. And I have had a hard week with little to no sleep especially for the last 36 hours and I wasn't ready to deal.

She yelled about my never being there and that I would have to make a decision, I told her she needed to fix things around here, that I couldn't keep lying to people. I feel ill about it all.

Whatever it was, I got pissed and we argued about everything and anything. I raised my voice only twice.
(I think.)

Finally, I said I would take out the trash and go mow the lawn. I apologised and I asked her nicely not to tell me what to do, but simply ask. I am after all a Human being. I swallowed my pride, in other words. She, however, gave me an ultimatum. I apparrantly need to make a choice. whether to work for her or for the city.

And I wished she would have just accepted my words. But instead, she says, that I need to make a decision.

I was on my feet before my mind kicked in.

I was upset. Again. And I started over.

Self-control is important.

The number one thing to do on Maxim's (and my) List of Things To Do Before You Die is thus: Sucker punch your boss.

I was closer that day than ever.

But I'd like to be a better person than I am ...

one day.

Anyhow, I didn't plan on having a post for you today or really any other day, I never plan these things. So here is an old one that summarizes kind of whom I am. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it hurts.

But in the end, we all fall, clinging to our lofty ideals.

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Ode to Myself.
(Statements in the first person.)
I got a letter in the mail today. It read: "Class action lawsuit."

I got a letter today that said, "Harris County Criminal Courts."

I'll be fine ... One of these days!

I am the slow down ramp.

I mention this because my own love life is fuct.

I'm such a hopeless romantic.

I'm a gentleman, and old-fashioned scholar.

I fell, we all fall, clinging to our lofty ideals.

I sat on the curb and cried.

I wish they were here.

I wish she were here.

I used to stand in the rain.

I know that you have low self-esteem.

I know that I have low self-esteem.

I got kicked out of the cage by some cunt.

I got pissed and wandered around the inner city.

I was like, not much, are you going to rob me like that?

I couldn't think of anything funny to say as I drove off, so I said, "You're fired. I don't love you, it's not my child anyhow, and I hope I never see you again..."

I own the road. When I say 'I own it' it's not like I think it's mine. It really is mine. I have paid for 1/276,000th of that road through city and county taxes. It's mine. I own it.

I am going to Los Angelos to write a screenplay about lovers that kill each other...

I know you don't care.

I live inside a bubble. My own little world where nothing really ever happens and there is a happy ending. I decieve myself often on this basis.

I drink Dr. Pepper out of wine glasses.

I woke up and screamed 'God is trying to kill me.'

I had three chicks hovering around me. Proof positive, in my mind, that women still feel the need to be protected in dark places.

I am going to flunk out of school and become a car salesman. That way I can get paid to lie.

I was a cocky fuck back then (and now still am or so I'm told) but it didn't amount to much then and it doesn't amount to much now.

I wanted to tell you so much.

I wanted you to know so much.

I feel bad for him, I really do.

I find it the most unfair thing in the world that I am now half through my Bachelor's Degree and yet I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

I don't care what you saw on a cartoon, don't do that again in public...

I figured on checking him, hunting him down and swiftly, furiously beating him.

I ran right up to him this morning and pushed him back into the maintenance closet.

I told him he didn't know me.

I ripped through that school looking for this dude.

I did it in front of my girl, she was my girl then.

I was extra chipper this morning.

I actually SANG this morning.

I stalk my neighbors.

I Say Whatever The Fuck I Like.

I'd beat my postman senseless if I didn't fear ...