Ah, these days... these days that come before us and the days that follow after are often shrouded in shades of grey, often too often I find myself mirrored in the rain. the cloud filled skies seek to mirror the pain I hold within my heart.

this night, I shall not speak of what has brought me to so low a mood, rather I shall endeavor to speak of the more recent past and the happy times, the sunshine if you will on my cloudy days...

Beginning with my Birthday, the 23rd of June, I know I sent notices to you all and harrassed you for days on end and for that I apologize if only a bit. You see that was to be my day and mine alone, set aside for me. To those of you who couldn't be there to share it with me and yet still called or sent me your warm wishes I heartily give thanks to you, my friends you'll never truely know how much you mean to me.

It was a good night, not as many people showed as said they would, but still a good night with friends, low key and beginning at the Jackalope a local bar downtown that I like to skulk about in. Friends came and left, some stayed longer while others didn't. it was good, there was cake and drinks, a camera or two. then off to the Red Fez for more drinks, British Pop music and a meet and greet with some of Austins musical underground. Thank you Sarah, Rion, Mark for sharing the night with me. As I said I kept it low key. nothing spectacular, no wild and craziness, just me and some friends, that's all I've ever wished for.

The weekend forthcoming from my birthday, was filled with the promise of a bright future for two of my most deserving of friends, in fact they should have their own posting, but I am in a melancholy mood tonight, perhaps this is my idea of being dramatic, I'm not sure. I any case two of my good friends, people that I care about were to and now are married. Jason and Leslie, whom you'll find links to their blogs/journals on your left joined hands and lives in a beautiful ceremony on the 27 of June, a Sunday amid the storms of summer did they bind their lives together. I can't tell you how happy I am for them, it knows no bounds.

Add into this a girl, no a young woman, whom I had met before and was intrigued by, entranced by, amazed by almost a year previously. A friend of a friend met only briefly before, but still in those moments amazing. I had the great and good fortune to meet her again, to speak with her one on one. The night seemed to last forever and I did not want it to end. It has been so long since... well, I won't go into that here, but she was a beam of light in my darkness, perhaps a way out of this rain I dwell in greyness... my life a shadow of what it could be, but for those few days, the heavens opened up and sunshine, music, everything was beautiful, but it paled in comparison to her beauty, not just physical yet also emotional, intellectual, everything about this woman set my heart to racing, my mind was aflame with thoughts for her and it still is. but I know I must go slowly, though everything in me says to leap forward uncaring of the consequences. I must hold back, I don't want to lose her, to push her away. the things we spoke about, the realities, the imaginings, future plans our shadowed pasts everything about this woman sang to me like a thousandfold orchestral storm strumming my heart and my life with infinite splendor. I am dazzled by this woman. If she asks me for my heart it is hers. I know there is pain in both our pasts, she hasn't spoken to me of hers, but I can sense it, does she sense my own fears? I don't know. I want so much out of this life. I don't want to push her away, but I want to pull her close. I know I must give her space, time, no labels, I must show her I care, but in subtle ways. I must stop babbling before she thinks I'm a complete lunatic.

my cold and shattered heart was warmed in her prescence...

come to tonight, tonight was a good one up until a point, it is not over, but soon it will be and I will have to put my head down to bed. goodnight unto you my friends. thank you for reading these meager words.

Click to see my Star Wars Personality!!

I think I now REALLY like Bruce Springstein. This good ole boy really has deep thoughts. The more popular this man became, the more he expresses what is truly on his mind. A bold move many industry artists horribly avoid!

Read Bruce Springstein's Public Message.

Alright,so it was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new law was that, in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day when you died. The Angel at the gate said to the man, "Before I let you in, I need you to tell me how your day was going when you died."
"No problem," the man said. "I came home to my 10th floor apartment on my lunch hour and caught my wife half naked. I knew she was fucking some bitch, I glanced out onto the balcony and noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips! Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers until he fell to the ground. But wouldn't you know it, he landed in some trees and bushes that broke his fall and he didn't die. This pissed me off even more. I wanted to kill the fucker! So I unplugged my refrigerator, pushed it out onto the balcony, and tipped it over the side. It plummeted 10 stories and crushed him! The excitement of the moment was so great that I had a heart attack and died almost instantly."
The Angel considers this, and let's him in cuz it WAS a bad day....The next dude comes up, and is asked the same question. So the dude replies, "But you're not going to believe this. I was on the balcony of my 11th floor apartment doing my daily exercises. I was really pushing hard, and I guess I got a little carried away, slipped, and accidentally fell over the side! Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the fingertips on the balcony below mine. But all of a sudden this crazy man comes running out of his apartment, started cussing, and stomps on my fingers. I fell and fucking hit some trees and bushes at the bottom which broke my fall so I didn't die right away. As I'm laying there face up on the ground in shock and in excruciating pain, I see this guy push his refrigerator, of all things, off the balcony. It falls the 10 floors and lands on top of me, killing me instantly."

So the Angel chuckles, thinks his job is pretty cool, and let's this dude in...the third dude comes up, and again the Angel asks him the same question about how he died. So the dude goes, 'Okay, picture this, I'm hiding in this refrigerator right..."

H	Hilarious
U	Unusual
G	Gloomy
H	Handy
M	Mystical
E	Entertaining
L	Little
R	Relaxing
O	Organic
S	Slippery
E	Eccentric

Name / Username:

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

My Birthday, the 23rd of June, jackalope, located at 404 E. 6th St. Austin, Tx 78701 who's invited? you and all your friends especially those who like to drink, dance to 80's music, listen to the occasional local bands, and did I say drink? sarah's bringing the cake!!

So I'm going to be 27, you don't really have to get me anything, just showing up is good enough for me. Y'all are all going to be out anyway. so why not spend some time with friends.

Oh and if you don't show up, I'll hunt you all down.
Thanks!
Hugh
512-947-2848
hugh.h.melrose@us.army.mil
AIM:HughHudson3
YahooIM:Whotookmyshorts
MSN:Imortalrooster@collegeclub.com

Then after mine is all done and not soon forgotten, get ready for Sarah's Bday!!in JenRea style, she's giving us kids a month! or something like that, till her birthday gets here!

the plan as it stands its a pajama/lingerie at Joe's new house on or about July 8th. so start getting that outfit together! I know you can do it! you sexy mother fuckers!

and its plenty of time to save for that fab. present you're gonna buy Her!

It seems we stood and talked like this before
We looked at each other in the same way then
But I can't remember where or when. . .

Frozen whisper Night breathes shadows Ghosts stir snow
Night fades to dawning day Sunrise over green budding leaves
Warm air billows Tarmac like black fire Summer Hitch-hike
Warm air heats, hotter, brighter Limp grass lies thirsty and parched
Skies cloud over Silver shower of September Darken colored leaves
Leaves rustle crisply sighing Dark bare trees stand, sentinels
Owls in the twilight Ruffled wings stirs silence Lonely hunter flies
Winged hunter floats over snow Deepening darkness creeps
Lone moon rises Winter glows with ancient life Nature’s nightlight

Here's an interesting report on Pat Tillman, the football player recently killed in Afghanistan.

Some of y'all might think this is an anti-war post and on today of all days you might especially think it is. But today is JUNE 6th and Sixty years ago, thousands of young men flew over the english channel into the fight of their lives. My Grandfather was among them and he didn't come home. REMEMBER! That's right remember where you came from, those who fought for you, who died for you and those who have to live with the memories.

Soldiers aren't inhuman beasts of war, we're men and women, fathers and mothers, sons and daughters, aunts and uncles and we are scared, though we fight on even in the midst or irksome tasks and weighty responsibilities, we continue on.

War isn't a good thing, nor is it always a necessary thing, but sometimes it is.

REMEMBER!!!

I'm a big fan of the comma myself and use it absurdly, but then absurdity is the thing to do these days, kind of like being on a reality t.v. show. Yes, I write, but I hesitate to call myself a writer even though anyone who can pick up a pencil and drag it across a piece of paper is technically a writer. My own work includes, poetry, lyrics, short stories, massive amounts of pages of illegible well past midnight scrawlings among other things. I have so much in me that I need to get out and I can't always find the words. Lately I've been in a slump, I have a character, an idea, a moment, but I don't know where to go with him... he seems so lost in the rain I don't know how to bring the sunshine back into his life.

I must say though that I'm entertained by the notion of "act wisely" if I did that I wouldn't be on the internet, but then the search for truth doesn't have a paved road or a map, so maybe the internet is appropriate after all. Read? Yes, Yes I read a lot. Practically anything I can get my hands on though I grew up in mythology/history/ sci-fi/fantasy realm and have lately in the past few years ventured into the fictional arena of Vonnegut, Welsh, Pahlaniuk, etc.

Do you enjoy playing in the rain, how wonderful is that? I need more friends that don't mind getting a little wet and muddy. Most don't seem to understand that it's the same thing as taking a shower or walking through Houston on any given day of the year and they're perfectly fine with that.

This could go on and on, but I've got to get some sleep in me before the dawn gets too much closer. enjoyed and looking forward to more replies. I doubt most of us will ever meet as I don't happen to live on your street or even in your neighborhood, but if fate does turn it's eye our way I'd like to think we'd at least be great friends. Have a great one all!

the time is never now. we never know who we should love and we're never certain how. these things used to come so easily when it didnt really matter where you were in the end.

It'll never like the night we spent together, the time spent didn't last forever and I only have these stolen words to remember a passion like the night we spent together.

What is this pain that reminds me, resides within me, abides me, chides me.. haunts me throughout the night, forces sleep away from my tired eyes, so many sleepless nights, so many paths of memory wandered, tired walking, a dead man, heart shattered and poor, bedraggled, a fierce love's fire died in the onslaught of a shower of tears, a storm of pain, fizzled out this burning ember, endings never a beginning...

ok, who i really am sort of, so at first I refused to be involoved with myspace or friendster because I hate to sit in front of the computer, but then I was convinced by friends so I decided to join but only as half me / half joke. but I've been thinking lately, about me and all this info and maybe I should be more specific about who I am. so I guess here it goes in no particular order and much more of a rambling on of who I think I am at this point in time.

I hate to work a lot, but I work three jobs. I love to be alone but then I feel something's missing. I have anxiety issues especially in the morning when mixed with too much coffee or when I play video games. I'm way too self conscience, then some days I'm too vain. I would say I'm shy but given the right people, circumstances and usually alcohol I'm not at all. I'm ambitious and I want a lot out of life but I'm lazy. I'm a procrastinator but who isn't. I want to be loved but am afraid of getting hurt and where there is love there is usually pain. I love my friends and my family more than I feel they'll ever understand and they'd say I'm crazy for saying that. Some days I feel like I know exactly who I am and what I want and then other days it's all in question. I think sometimes I try to hard to fit in or be "cool", whatever that is, then other days I could care less. I wish I acted more out of impluse but thankful I don't. I'm sure there's more but the truth serum is fading. oh yeah, I have no regrets.

Memorial Day Poem
Many have walked a path, a jagged road
Leading to tears of peace entwined with fears.
These times were not their chosen ways,
But soldiers took their stand.
The breezes of war, kiss their brow
Made the young old before their time
...and others ageless from the sound of reapers in the field.

They lived in a time of unfamiliar boundaries
Life made up of loyalty to our country and forced survival.
Preserving independence, rights and liberties
Freedom redeemed at countless costs
Common men and women performing uncommon acts of valor
Leaving behind all they have ever known
...Family, friends, jobs and mother-land.

Masses went, to fight upon foreign soils
Their faces have been forgotten,
But the wounds, the pains and the cries remain.
Tired eyes mourning from within, looking out at
Blood covered promises and sorrow worn victories.
Searching for, yet not wanting to find,
...Buddies that have fallen, the victims of war.

Pride in serving, the pain in remembering
Colors of the crimson soaked sod and blurred visions of the mind.
How thankful we should be, we should sing the tune of memories
Of forgotten heros standing at past history's door
They went and came home, many returned in part...
Let us remember those who returned in lifeless form
...and never stop looking for those labeled M.I.A. and P.O.W.

Memorial Day, a time to pay tribute for the ultimate sacrifice.
Celebrate with your picnics, beach outings and reunions,
But teach your children about the sacrifices made,
Pride in the United States and the courage of the past.
Men and women, no matter how large or small the part,
Left their all behind, footprints of war imprinted in the annals of time.
Let us give them bitter-sweet honor of a hero-respect
...and a heartrending thanks.