if you ask me if i am a romantic, i would say yes, perhaps a bit too romantic at times though. my effinity to romance is only a secret i am really a pleaser when it comes to relationships. i give roses and chocolates, i send sweet little notes, i am always thoughtful and caring and i'm not ashamed to show it. i whisper sweet words before sleeping and plant kisses first thing in the morning. my partner thinks i'm the most romantic guy in the whole world. its not hard for me to show my partner that i care about them, that going through these motions is a recipe for a good relationship.

what i would admit is that i have biological, moral, and social needs; and in order to maintain that i will have to act accordingly. inside me is a heart that has more than enough space for romantic emotions, which is really the heart of this whole blog. now this is just a personal opinion and i'm putting it here for the concept of sharing. the truth is this is still an ongoing thought exercise that either needs a lot more refinement or would probably be thrown to the bin and into oblivion when the fog clears.

recently, i have been a confidant to a very dear friend. her problem is she fell in love with her boyfriend's best friend. their love triangle is not the topic here so i will leave her anonymous. what strikes me is the evident propensity of people to be attracted to the opposite sex in ways like only cupids arrow can do to make them instantly declare that they are in love. notwithstanding that they met only two weeks ago, they practically do not know anything about each other, there only time together were some phone calls, some messages, and some emails. how can you be in love?

is love a tingling sensation you feel for the person you want? you're bones become brittle and you're like melted butter floating in the clouds. doesn't it need reason at all? really? does love have to precede realationships or can love be born out of a relationship?

i know a couple, they're of chinese descent, who were forced into marriage by their parents in their late teens. prior to their marriage they didn't even know the other exist. they're very old now, probably in their eigthies. there love is legendary in the whole neighborhood because they never separated even once. their respect and commitment to each other is unrivaled. eight children, all successful in their own professions. in a small town each family's life is an open book and their story is not so different than ours. they had their own share of tribulations but they stuck together no matter what. they're a picture of a happy family and a wonderful love story.

i know a guy, a very close friend. fell in love with his college classmate. they wed and had two children. it didn't work out well for them so they separated. only a few months later he fell in love with another girl and they decided to live together. they had two children of their own but they constantly clash all the time so they had to separate too. then came another girl, and guess what? he fell in love again. he's a love factory because he never seems to run out of it. i haven't heard from him in a long time. the last news i have of him is that he's got five children in his house and no wife.

i know a guy, who in college had this girlfriend for three years and he loved her. why? i do not know. probably because he missed her when she wasn't around. they enjoyed being together. shared each others dreams and aspirations. whatever the reason, he know he loved her, he just did. but that was a long time ago, he hasn't seen her and he wouldn't probably see her anymore. is he still in love with her? no. but he used to be. if you asked him now he doesn't even remember how it felt. time moved on and he didn't stay to linger. once upon a time they were so in love, and so he thought. but today it's all just memories, and very faint memories at that.

this brings me now to my postulate. I cannot speak in generalities concerning the process of falling in love in regards to how long it takes, nor what it takes. For me personally I fell in love with the snap of a finger. Realizing it was love was what took a bit longer. When I knew that living without that person, without her, was an impossibilty, thats when I knew I was in love. When I cannot imagine my future without her I know I am still in love with her. you see I think a relationship is what needs nurturing , not love itself. For me love is a feeling, either you have it or you don't. real love is a posteriori to a relationship and grows like a seed to a full and sturdy tree. it needs nurturing and caring. experiencing things together and always being there for each other. many memories of pain and wonderful moments. when you're both old and you can still say "I LOVE YOU" to each other, there's the love. Love is so many different thoughts, emotions and actions that I'm not able to contain into words but I know it takes patience, commitment and compromise to make it work.

I really don't know anything about anything. Especially when it comes to love. But I do have some beliefs....

"Of course, true love is exceptional- two or three times a century, more or less. The rest of the time there is vanity or boredom." - Camus

"Love is not love when alteration finds. Oh no, it is an ever fixed mark." - Billy S.

"I experienced a secret suffering, a sort of privation that made me emptier and allowed me, partly through obligation and partly out of curiosity, to make a few commitments. Inasmuch as I needed to love and be loved, I thought I was in love. In other words, I acted the fool." - Camus

For me personally, I feel love. I know it when I feel it. I don't wonder about it. I also don't do romantic or sweet things simply because I am obligated or someone has to tell me to do them, I do them because the thought of bringing a smile to the face of someone I love makes me happy. all i know is i love the small things, not necessarily gifts and candy, although they are included of course, but gestures. the small things, the details, those are what i enjoy, not as much for whomever but as much for how i feel afterwards.

Love is a decision to put someone else's needs and desires before your own. It is a decision to take care of someone so thoroughly, that you do what is right for them even when your anger breeds the desire to do otherwise. Love is an act, not some illusive feeling.

love is my secret weakness. I've been lucky (or unlucky) to find myself in love before. when i'm in love, i give 100% of myself to that person and try to show them how much I care with small gestures of appreciation, not so much material things as meaningful words or actions that might show that person that they are important to me. There is no real truth about love - every love has each own truth.. basicly it is about feelings - and there are different kinds of love. Love to your family, love to your children, love to your friends - and the love between lovers.. Often the word love is misused in my oppinion - I dont think many of us would believe a person that said that he or she loved us after having known us for 2 hours. Many people want to be sure about love - some to much. That is probably why the quote "follow your heart" is a cliché but very true. I adore love - and I dont think there is no need to explain every fragment of it... just feel it and enjoy it..