It's Monday Morning and I've already had a full day to start with and it's going to keep going I can tell already. You'll have noticed that I didn't finish posting yesterday, I simply wound up not being here at the apartments. I'm attempting to get out into the world, to see and experience Austin or at least I'm attempting to get away from here because I need to stay off the computer so that I can study for my Mid-Terms of which I only have one left, but it's a big one, at least for me it is. I know all of you are dealing with your own academic endeavors or life's little ironies and I'm not attempting to place my own above yours, they're just foremost in my own mind.

I was going to start writing about today, but I think I should go back to Yesterday, because that's where this tale neither begins nor ends, Robert Jordan had a great qoute in his Wheel of time Series with which he begins every book ( this one comes from Winter's Heart, book Nine in the series), it goes something like this,

"The Wheel of Time turns, and Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth comes again. In one Age, Called the third Age by some, and Age yet to come, An Age long past, A wind rose above the Aryth Ocean. The wind was not the beginning. There are neither beginnings nor endings to the turn of the Wheel of Time. But it was a beginning."

So to Yesterday, A beginning of sorts, but also an ending of sorts for it is neither nothing, nor is it everything and that is all the truth I can offer you. Yesterday began with an attempt at studying at a local Starbucks on 24th and San Antonio. I should have known better than to go to a Starbucks to study, I was there for a good thirty minutes before a friend of mine showed up and it was only about 15-20 minutes more before Six more had arrived and soon studying just flew out the window. And before I knew it we were in vehicles and heading out to grab some grub, We ate at the Ommeletry restraunt, It was good times, good times. Then back to the Apt's for a quick showing for some prospective tenants, then back out in a further attempt to study, which was forestalled by the invite to watch movies at Nicki's with friends, compadres and acquantances. Watching Army of Darkness for the thousandth or so time was highly enjoyable. I haven't had the opportunity to laugh in awhile. but in retrospect it might have been better if I had studied instead, but then again. Afterwards a further attempt at studying and then Dinner with more friends stayed up late to converse on some crazy topics. Continued Ringing the ceiling of my room with blue christmas lights, because I like blue, that's why. I reorganized the books in my room, pulling more from the back out into the open, have you noticed a pattern here? I can't seem to concentrate on studying, this midterm tomorrow is very important, but even now I'm sitting here procrastinating by writing this post. Someone from my unit called me again yesterday, they echoed the thoughts that were in my own head, that we may have to go back soon. That more may be required of us. This bothers me a lot. I love my country and would do anything for my fellow man, but I too want my freedom, I want to be able to live my life and realize my American dream, but it seems a choice made so long ago will affect my entire life, I chose to serve and I must live with that choice.

I wasn't able to sleep again last night, I simply laid there and stared at the ceiling, I might have dozed off near 5 or 6 a.m. but I'm not sure, I know I heard my friend nicki tapping on my window this morning, she needed a ride to work, so I took her to Barton Springs and dropped her off. I walked around Zilker Park for a little while before deciding I needed to get going, then I thought I should get the truck looked at and maybe get the oil changed. So off to Jiffy Lube for the early bird special. I found out an interesting fact, Austin doesn't do Emissions Testing, I wonder what that will mean for the truck? could I get it tested here? While there I read the entire Morning paper, The Austin American Statesman, which was a good read if a bit light. I took particular interest in the stories of the action and consequences of what's going on overseas and it brought back to mind the phone call from yesterday and all my fears re-emerged. Yes I am scared, I am scared of a lot of things and I have no one to share my fear with and that is another thing that is bothering me, I fear that my lack of being able to share my emotions will leave me alone, I keep trying and yet I keep failing. So I will deal with it on my own as I have always done.

What do I have planned for the rest of the day? well I'm going to go out and attempt to study again. I have to, regardless of what I'm feeling inside or what may or may not occurr in my life. I must go on, if I don't then I've already given up and I'm not like that, a bit apathetic at times, a procrastinator of course, but a quiter? never.

Don't worry about me, I'll be okay. Someday.