It's Monday night and as a friend so aptly put it it's time to wake up and smell the pigskin, yes my friends thats right it's time for Monday Night Football and a bunch of us are going out to watch the game.

Today was both a good and lethargic day, the weather has mirrored my soul with it's grey cloudy skies and rain.

but before I get into that I want to say that I woke up from sleeping at 3:36 a.m. this morning and my face was wet, apparantly I've been crying in my sleep again, yesterday I thought about so many things in my life and how everything seems to be out of my control, I think there's more going on beneath the surface than I really understand right now. some of you may have read my man apart series and others I'd like you to take a look at it, read it from the bottom up, those aren't the real dates that they were written, I have those in my journals, but at the times they mirrored my soul and often what was going on in my life at the time. let me know what you think.

And speaking of writing, I recently found out my friend Anita writes as well and very well at that. It seems I am surrounded by a plethora of unknown writers/lyricists and poets. I'd like to know if you have anything to share.

Back to my day, it began early as I mentioned previously, I've been having trouble sleeping, it seems I've got a lot on my mind lately and other things just keep piling up, I feel the weight pressing down on me constantly. so much so that my shoulders hurt from the strain. This morning dawned early, I took my friend Nicki to work, we talked along the way, there are some things that we need to discuss, but neither of us brought those up. We might be collaborating on some lyrics, but I think I'm going to let her do it herself so that if she does use it for her band there won't be any copyright issues...

After dropping Nicki off, I came back here and I think I spaced out for about the whole day...I don't remember what I did, I think I just sat here and either slept in my chair or stared off into space... I think I did that all day, until it was time to pick up Nicki in the afternoon. I don't know what's going on with me, I feel so lethargic, so out of it, what's wrong with me? I picked nicki up and was really hungry so I took her to Chili's for lunch, I just didn't want to come back to the apartments, Chili's turned out to be a great idea, our waiter kicked ass, and the food was a good change from Ramen and Frozen burritos... I worked on some writing, it sucks, but at least I was writing again. this past weekend I went to Bookpeople and picked out some new books, I don't read as much as I used to and I need to regain what I've lost from my vocabulary.

So tonight I'm going out, just to get out, with people I don't know to a place I've never been and to do something I never really do... whatever, whatever...