Yes, I know it's a Tuesday and I haven't written in awhile, or well I haven't written here in awhile anyway, I've been writing a lot in other places. Much has been going on in my life and I'm simply trying to make it through to the next day. I'm beginning to sort things out, to settle in here in Austin. I wish some things in my life were different,

Such as my capacity to share my feelings with those that are closest to me and not through my writings or emails, but face to face or at least voice to voice. I have so much inside of me that I want to share, but I hold back, because I’m scared of being happy? Or maybe because I’m scared of losing control. I know that’s a part of it. That I have it in me to love someone so completely, it’s just locked away behind a mass of scar tissue and chains.

I wish that I didn’t procrastinate or hesitate so much, I know that I begin with good intentions, but unfortunately along the way I’m side tracked and the opportunity passes me by.

But enough of that right now, people as a whole tend to dwell on the negative and I know that I do it. I have positive things in my life, good friends, family that cares in their own weird dysfunctional way.

I just wish some things were different about me and about my life.

But on a different less introspectional note let me update you on what I've been doing, don't worry it hasn't been much so you won't have to read a long post like mine others have been of late. Basically I've been working around the apartment complex, been to class on a regular basis. I've gone out with friends, both new and old, some evenings consisted of absolute craziness others a simple dinner with friends. I'm dealing with some serious sinus congestion/ allergies and the weather here isn't helping, it's like it doesn't know whether it wants to be winter or not here. My Physical Geography Professor says it has to do with the Balconies Fault and the weather patterns coming from California. Either way it's not helping.

I have some papers to write for my government class, they seem to be combining themselves and are turning into what appears to be a bill, perhaps I'll submit it to a local congressman for consideration and then eventual dumping into the garbage, or who knows. it's not a particularly controversial issue.

A friend has arrived within the past few days all the way from Austria, though he is not Austrian, he's Norweigan, Stian is an anomaly in the world of El Rio, maintaining a presence from thousands of miles away and on odd times of the year he comes back. He's seems a decent enough fellow, though a bit European in his tastes and habits. but still a good guy.

Anyway I have to get back to work soon, but I will attempt to write more later.